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CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Ah, the joys of homicide. What one person loses in life, another gains in entertainment, so who said death was fruitless, eh? CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, based on the show, should by rights be a rollercoaster of forensic snoopery and Clarice Starling-style dirt digging. Not so, we're afraid. If you're looking for static screen adventuring where the only moving things are flapping, badly synchronised mouth movements, you're in luck.

The crushing flaw of CSI is the complete lack of actual investigation. There's no skill involved in finding clues, simply the ability to comb over a screen with the cursor until it blinks green. Cursor goes green, evidence is in the bag. Then it's off to the lab where you run all the items that caused your cursor to go green under the 'scope, and after a drawn-out process of dragging icons over icons, you bag your man. Nothing at a crime scene is interactive other than the items that need investigating, so though an upturned bin may hint at a clue, or a mattress looks like it needs sniffing, if your cursor doesn't blink green, it means they're little more than pre-rendered scenery.


In its defence, the voice acting comes from the actual cast (although the CG cast might have suffered rigor mortis for all the movements they make), and you do get the sense you're learning something (who'd have thought you could detect deep tissue bruising with UV light, eh?). That's about it, though, when it comes to the plus points. The premise is certainly unique and brimming over with potential, but the execution is so lazy and ham-fisted if it were a killer it would have shot itself in the foot. Shame really.

The verdict

Could have been so good, especially with such interesting source material, but instead it's just rubbish.