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7 Sins titillates on PC and console

A game where you get to caress lady bumps using thumb controllers. No, seriously

In days of yore you'd waggle your joystick to whip the competition in the 100 metre dash in Daley Thompson's Decathlon. Now it's all about waggling joysticks to fondle women's norks.

How times have changed. We recall the old robust Kempston Joystick came into its own in the ZX Spectrum rip-off of Track & Field, and in a similar vein we can but hope that the PS2 controller (or mouse) is up to the bap-bopping gameplay featuring in Monte Cristo's title of sex and debauchery 7 Sins.

We're men. Our brains are drawn to 7 Sins' breast manipulation feature. But that's only a mini-game in a title that challenges you with climbing up the social and economic ladder in Apple City. No prizes for guessing that this is hedonistic heaven, and the idea is that you indulge in the classic seven sins to work your way to the top in true dirty rascal style.


It's, erm, adult then. With sex. And probably best played with the curtains closed.

"7 Sins' unique graphical style, close-to-the-bone [never has a phrase been more apt] humour and outrageous characters and settings make this a rare and original gem," says Terry Malham, commercial director, Digital Jesters which has just signed the game for the UK.

Malham also adds that 7 Sins "is taking us into areas we have never been before," seemingly reinforcing the age-old myth that male videogamers wouldn't know what a women was if one fell on them from a very great height.

7 Sins is releasing on PC and PS2 in May. You can find the official website here, which quips "Access to this site is restricted to adults over 18 years old who can: seduce and satisfy a range of varied and demanding people; use any means available to accumulate a comfortable fortune and, whenever possible, flaunt it; attain the lofty corridors of power. Losers, though nice people, are politely requested to click the Exit button."

There's even a picture of a bloke with his hands on a woman's bottom. How saucy.