Kids these days, eh? Now it's all about stealing cars, dirtying your dinker with prostitutes (then murdering them for your chump change, natch) and shooting puppies in the face.
But back in the good old days of videogaming we pleasured ourselves by climbing on happy rainbows and collecting fruit for points. If only we could get back to all that is good and wholesome in games...
Thanks to newly-formed publisher Rising Star Games, we're getting the chance. Flushed with the old-school kudos of bringing Space Invaders and Bubble Bobble to the DS later this year (both with trendy 'Revolution' subtitle), Rising Star is also preparing to unleash the joys of Rainbow Islands on Nintendo's handheld.
If you don't recall the original it was a deliriously happy little platform game where you had to climb up rainbows to escape a flood. Hang around too long and your rainbows would dissipate and drop you into the rising tide, often causing some desperate scrambles to get to the top of the level. Lots of addictive fun and not a hooker in sight.
Reps from Rising Star were confirmed Rainbow Islands' DS existence, but couldn't offer any details other than it would be out this autumn and make full use of the touchscreen.
Call us mental, but we guess you'll be able to draw your rainbows with the stylus. The dual-screened set-up will also suit the game's vertical play area perfectly.
Rising Star is also bringing the Harvest Moon series to PS2 for the very first time this October, alongside the Cube version of Oh Wonderful Life. Friends of Mineral Town on GBA will also be available this June.
But it's the old-school fun we're excited about. Just for a minute why not stop bludgeoning grannies with pickaxes and tell us what other classic eighties games you'd like to see brought to DS in the forums.
Rainbow Islands Revolution should be available later this year.