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Raze's Hell

It just goes to show - spitting your seed isn't always as much fun as it sounds

The enemies in Raze's Hell are some of the strangest we've seen in any third-person shooter. Some fluffy bears with pink hearts on their chests merrily skip your way all happy and gleeful... then blast your face off with laser weapons. The little gits.

These nasty little bears believe themselves to be a perfect species and so, rather like Hitler, reckon killing everyone who isn't 'perfect' is the way forward. During their killing spree they destroy Raze's town and everyone he knows. Luckily, Raze doesn't have to stand for it. He may not be armed in the traditional sense, but he can spit seeds like his mouth is a machine gun. Even though the game is viewed from a third-person angle, you control his movement and aim in the same way as you do a first-person shooter (like in the Hitman games). It works very well, so with your amazing Halo skills you'll be right at home taking Raze into battle.


But beating these bear dudes is no easy task. They might look like childrens' toys, but they're quite intelligent and don't die easily. They're like the little Covenant Grunts in Halo 2 running scared when you're packing heat and coming back for another pop at you when your back is turned. They shout pre-school abuse at you too. "You icky, wicky, poo", they go, and so on.

That's why you'll learn to hate them. You'll take pleasure in seeing them die painfully, then smashing their corpses into little bloody pieces. Apart from being fun, it's also necessary to splat their internal organs over the ground, which you then eat to replenish your health. Sick, we know.

We like the strange style of this game, which blends fluffy cuteness with gruesome brutality. We like the characters and their mannerisms, and we like the decent AI. We DON'T like the crap weapons and the rubbish environments. We'd do anything to get a hold of a proper gun in Raze's Hell - spitting seeds feels all wrong, and that meaty feeling you get from clutching a lethal piece of steel is missing. You can't even pick up the weapons dropped by enemies. C'mon, this is 2006. You should be able to do that in ALL games by now.

As for the environments, you only need to glance at the screens to see how plain and lifeless it is. There's nothing even remotely eyecatching about these worlds. They're completely lacking any motion or life. The colour pallet is hideous and horrible invisible walls haunt certain areas, too.

Missions are equally dull - blow up this and collect that, nothing you haven't seen before. You can have a mate join the killing in co-op mode, but that's only fun for an hour. After that you'll have exhausted most of Raze's Hell's potential - apart from its potential as a makeshift frisbee.

The verdict

A nice, unique idea with cool characters, hindered by flat level design, unoriginal missions and dull graphics.