1 Reviews

Gene Troopers

Super trooper? There's no beating around the bush here, Gene Troopers is one bad game...

There's no point beating around the bush here: Gene Troopers is a bad video game. Sometimes games are worth persevering with once the shock of their ugliness has been overcome, in the hope of discovering some sort of inner beauty - that's not the case here. Gene Troopers starts off thoroughly ugly and stays that way.

It's not that it looks a bit ropey; that would be doing it a favour. It looks terrible, pure and simple. All sickly oranges and snot greens, and when the sheer assault on your retinas eases, it goes completely dark. The first few plays will see your character perishing in a hail of plasma from pitch black shadows. Environments are uninspired, while the gene troopers you do battle against are a mess of blocky textures and shoddy animation. Oh, and they're stupid too. They'll allow you to stride right up to them and shoot them square in the face and the only reaction you'll get is a silly noise and a melodramatic death throe.


In fact the game is littered with hilarious noises, although none is intentionally funny. Any sense of believability is quickly shattered the moment you shoot an enemy. The gargling that emerges from your TV sounds as though it was obtained by someone with gastroenteritis taping a mic to the inside of their toilet. At least you can pick up DNA points on the way to finding your kidnapped daughter. What's this? Well, (and we're trying our hardest to make this sound exciting) being an unfinished gene trooper means you can collect little glowing orbs of DNA from the enemy gene troopers you kill and put them towards obtaining new abilities, like a death grip for your anti-gravity gloves. The roleplaying elements are similar to those of the classic Deus Ex, and at least give some purpose to the otherwise brainless gunplay. This is one of those games that honestly makes you think, why did they bother?

The verdict

Gene Troopers? Not as hard as Gene Hackman, not as funny as Gene Wilder and nowhere near as fleetfooted as Gene Kelly. A disgrace.

  • RPG elements
  • Side-splitting sounds
  • There is no third 'upper'
  • Sickeningly ugly
  • Side-splitting sounds
  • Really daft enemies