Reviews

Rumble Roses XX

Sexy pretend ladies want you for a wrestle. Happy birthday and Christmas and Easter!

ARSES EVERYWHERE. Schoolgirl uniforms. Knee-length socks. Bras. Weird lacy glove things. Stockings and boots. Hotpants. Rubber nurse uniforms. Small bikinis. Anything you like, they'll wear for you at no extra charge. The only thing we haven't seen yet is a gas mask with a tube attached to it for you to wee into. Maybe that unlocks when you complete it with all the characters.

The cameramen aren't shy either. You get close-up, lingering shots of arses as the pretty meat-things (women?) walk up to the ring, in-match holds and grapples have the perfumed objects wrestling on the floor with everything-akimbo and gussets on show - and you're then allowed to rotate the camera to get a better look. It's presented like interactive porn and the girls look like the highest-quality porn stars. Girls who could easily command fees as high as 60 for half an hour.

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DIRTY-LOOKING GIRLS
Looks-wise, they're a mixed bag. The game seems to struggle to add decent shadows to skin, so you're often left with girls that look like they've had a bottle of HP sauce dribbled down their legs. As you boost their stats they get bigger muscles, which adds more shadowing to their bulky legs and they get dirtier looking still. The scenery's a bit lacking in places too. Everything has a blur applied to it, and you'll see lowresolution backgrounds all over the place and a fair bit of pop-up as crowd members suddenly appear. It's far from cutting-edge Xbox 360 material.

But close-up on a good character, like the amazingly saucy Candy Cane who we actually love, the attention to womanly detail is superb. She's not quite so chiselled, so has more of a fantasy Dead or Alive look to her. Which makes her damn sexy, especially when she's bouncing around with her boobs busting out of her top. Everything wobbles and jiggles, and these gals don't care who's looking. The way they walk about varies dramatically too. When the girls are running through their set poses and thrusting their butts around as they walk to the ring they look spectacular - but when you're in control of their robotic shuddering limbs, it's not quite so hot.

They're a bit - pun intended - rigid, circling each other in the ring and missing with grapples and hits in a rather zombielike manner. Controls are pretty standard for one of today's wrestling games - you grapple, throw and strike opponents, with the triggers and black and white buttons saved for special moves.

You play to humiliate your opponent, building up your shame gauge and unleashing the special H-moves to thoroughly disgrace them. Your reward for this is an arousing full body close up of the shamed woman and a shot of their blushing cheeks! You also have a special attack, a more damaging move that charges up from your regular strikes and throws. And that's it! Be aggressive and go for a knockout, or be saucy and try to humiliate them.

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Rumble Roses also has an extremely simple game layout. There's not much in the way of tournaments, just a load of individual match types for you to gradually pile through. It's about unlocking stuff, see, with RR credits coming with each win. Credits are spent on really incredibly important things like new bikinis, and there are also quite a few separate game modes to unlock as well.

HAPPY SNAPS
The best by several miles is the Photo mode. For sick perverts this is fantasy stuff, as it lets you load up a couple of girls, tell them what to wear, then dump them in a fighting arena and tell them what to do. You can unlock new sexy Photo poses by winning the Island Resort beachside matches. This group of fights is all about humiliating your opponent, with the winner able to pick a punishment for the loser.

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