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Reviews

The Bible Game

The most tedious religious experience we've had since the last time there was a royal wedding.

We're not too sure who you'd go to get the official Bible license (Gideons? God?), but Crave have surely missed a trick here. Instead of a free-roaming Jesus sim where you smite rival religions with drive-by blessings, they've come up with a quiz/mini-game collection.

The Bible Game pits you against four AI characters, each taking control of the scoreboard to earn points. Landing on some squares gives you an individual challenge, a group question or a group challenge. The game is based on the Old Testament, which means mini-games such as racing along the bed of the Red Sea, throwing stones at Philistines and kicking false idols into the fires, all accompanied by awful God-rock that'll have you running for a copy of the Koran.

Zoom

But your contestants aren't the only things against you - God is too. Pick the wrong square and you incur the 'Wrath of God' - who'll take away all your points while a cut-scene of a plague of locusts plays. Yes, The Bible Game's God is not a just God, he's a fickle nobhead. What's worse, he's always tempting you with more points, willing you to incur his wrath. Isn't it Satan who's meant to tempt us? Has some sort of jobswap scheme been going on? The Bible Game, then - worth five minutes of your time, but basically it's crap. Jesus must be spinning in his grave. No, hang on...

The verdict

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy game is dumb - and we wouldn't touch it again with a ten-foot cross.

4.3
Format
PlayStation 2
Developer
Unknown
Publisher
Crave Entertainment
Genre
Puzzle

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