Further rummaging through our big bag of list feature ideas, we come to a poll that's caused much debate in the CVG office, not least because half of its inhabitants refuse to play anything without quad damage and a bloke that shouts "headshot!"
Yes, it's the best guns ever!(!!11!) We've compiled what we'd like to think is the definitive list of virtual boomsticks, covering some of our favourite shooters of the last ten years and inspiring more than a smidgen of nostalgia.
Simply put, if you were tooled-up with these bad boys not even Megatron or the old bloke from Kill Bill could stop you from tearing up the streets. So without further ado, here are CVG's favourite toys...
Counter-Strike - M4A1 Carbine (Colt)
We've never poured as much dedication into mastering a virtual rifle as with Counter-Strike's Colt. In the hands of a rookie it's nothing but a noisy spray-gun, but with a recoil master at the trigger the colt can take down a terrorist and/or abusive team mate from the other side of the map. Slap on the silencer and you've got a bonus 'flukey headshot' feature as well - score!
Turok 2 - Cerebral Bore
One of our favourite gadgets in Turok's arsenal of vicious toys, the Cerebral Bore set a new record for the most-unnecessarily brutal gadget in 1998. Upon squeezing the trigger the bore releases a projectile drill that homes in on the targets head and burrows in, resulting in a stream of head-matter and one of the best sound effects ever.
Doom 2 - Double-barreled shotgun
An excellent example of what happens when developers forget to dedicate time to weapon balancing. Once you've got the double-barreled shotgun in Doom 2, why use anything else? Especially when taking off demons' pixely heads is this much fun. Click, click, boom!
Duke Nukem 3D - Shrink-Ray
We could probably pick any of Duke's gadgets without causing much debate, but undoubtedly the superior Hungry, Hungry Hippos of his toy collection is the Shrink-Ray, which pint-sizes bad guys and in true Nukem-style lets you go in for a stomp to finish them off. Let's hope it returns in Duke Nukem Forever, if it ever comes out.
Goldeneye 007 - RCP90
No debate here - if you're going for pure multiplayer shredding power in Bond's greatest, the RCP90 is the weapon for you. It seemingly fires off a metric ton of lead every second, and has a clip that only seems to run out when you're in a firefight with another '90-wielder. It's only weakness? Dirty, cheating Oddjob.
Quake - BFG 10000
Like the FPS itself the BFG has been around for years, from its early days of pixel stardom in the Doom series all the way to modern-day speed-fragging in Quake. According to the rubbish Doom film BFG stands for 'Bio-Force Gun', but we all know what it really stands for. Quake II's manual refers to is as "Big, uh, freakin' gun".
Halo - Pistol
Arguably the best starting weapon of all-time. Halo's pistol's devastating range and lethal accuracy could take down foes wielding even the biggest of rifles, which gave it a permanent slot in most peoples' arsenals. Fans were devastated when it didn't return for the sequel, but rumours point to it making a triumphant comeback on the Xbox 360.