A shoot'em up to bring you down?

You really have to wonder what the decision-making process was in remaking crusty old horizontal shooter Scramble for Xbox Live Arcade. Of all the games out there in the whole world, why would Konami choose to launch one of the oldest, worst, most boring and least able to stand up to today's gaming competition on the Xbox 360?

Sure, there's a vast pool of retro-obsessed gamers out there gagging to get their hands on some historical classics, but even the most bearded retro-man would feel significantly short-changed on firing up this hideously aged experience.

Basically, you scroll right, press fire and unleash the occasional bomb to take out fuel dumps and annihilate rockets before they take off and hit you. That's about it. It happens slowly, awkwardly, and your ship is confined to the left-hand third of the screen to make it all the more frustrating.

Again it's presented in supposed high definition, which means they've made it bigger and put huge bars down the side of the screen. You also have a choice between original and enhanced graphics, which in reality means you're choosing between 'Rubbish Old Arcade Game' and 'Rubbish New Mobile Phone Game' standards. Both variants look equally awful.

Yes, you can play two-player over Xbox Live, but it's such a short, dull experience you'll be hard pushed to find anyone else ever playing this utter disaster online. They should've decided not to release it at all...

The verdict

Xbox Live Arcade
Digital Eclipse
Shoot 'em Up