PC Gamer's Must NOT Buy

The worst PC games of all time, in one place. WARNING: The following pages may be toxic.

Games are wonderful, aren't they?

Wrong. I'm going to let you in on a secret here - games are actually rubbish. We all know it. They're shallow wastes of time devoid of entertainment or intellectual merit. They are a scourge upon our cultural landscape and the cause of all society's ills. They are the things that took our hard-earned money and turned it into a waste of shelf space.

Yes, games are the disease, but you and I are the cure. It is time to strike out the Leisure Suit Larrys in our hearts, banish the Daikatanas from our minds and cleanse the Bass Avengers from our hard drives once and for all. The games that follow are not those you play with morbid fascination, nor those that you gather around with friends to mock. These are the games that tarnish all of us by their presence. They aren't the only offenders by any means, but they are the worst.

These are PC Gamer's Least Wanted. Spit after saying their names...

10. NRA Varmint Hunter


The National Rifle Association get a bad reputation (among liberal pinkos like us, anyway) for championing the weapons that kill thousands of people in America every year. If their detractors knew about NRA Varmint Hunter, they'd realise there are far worse accusations to lay at the NRA's door.

Varmints, if you don't know, are a general breed of small, relatively cute animal, including prairie dogs, groundhogs, and quite possibly fluffy kittens. But even if snuffing out small defenceless animals is your idea of a good time, please keep in mind that you can't even move in Varmint Hunter. You just aim, fire, and watch those little critters get destroyed by a bullet almost as big as they are.

Oh, sure, you can start worrying about how much gunpowder you use, but... they're the size of rats. Shooting fish in a barrel would be more challenging, and more fun.

9. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing


Big Rigs claimed to offer head-to-head heavy haulage delivery races against AI opponents, and exciting Smokey and the Bandit-style chases between yourself and the police. Unfortunately that was one of those lie thingies. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing actually contained no police, no chases, no cargo, and really not much of anything at all.

Instead, it featured a small number of mostly similar races against a single AI opponent who never, ever moved from the starting line. You could drive through buildings like they didn't exist, climb vertical slopes without slowing down, accelerate infinitely while in reverse (much to the annoyance of Albert Einstein), drive off the edge of the world at will, and sometimes win races as you crossed the line to start the race, not finish it.
Every time a race was completed, an ecstatic victory message would appear: "You're Winner!" But no, you weren't.

8. Hopkins FBI


Terrorist mastermind Bernie Berckson dropped two nuclear bombs on California, killing 50,000 people in the process. But despite being given the chair and electrocuted twice, he's now escaped and it's up to you, Hopkins, to bring him to justice once again.
We guess. At the very least, it seems to be your job to wander around getting women killed, to aid in bank heists with your utter incompetence, and to accidentally kill your girlfriend with your stupidity. And gun. And then you die and go to heaven.

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