And with the pathetic Guns N' Roses reference out of the way early doors, we're free to discuss this intriguing GTA-theme RTS RPG-type thingy, which, while decent, suffers by trying to be everything to everyone and ends up not being very much at all.
Escape from Paradise City is really an urban resource acquisition and management sim. As one of three criminals, you run around duffing up any scoundrels that cross your path. Eventually, you'll encounter the local kingpin.
Punch his teeth out and he'll do a comedic jog around the block, spreading the good word about your skull-cracking skills. Congratulations: you're the new ruler of the 'hood, and thus able to take advantage of all its resources. Some neighbourhoods are tougher than others, so it's important to choose the running order of your attacks wisely.
Unfortunately, that's all there is to this game. While it's enjoyable, Paradise City's repetitive nature meant I found myself needing long, regular breaks from the action, and even the presence of two distinct playing styles doesn't help.
As a third-person action game, it inherits all of the worst qualities of a hack-and-slasher, while as a top-down RTS, it offers little more than pointing and clicking, pointing and clicking, as you'll very quickly realise. "Take me home!" you'll then plead. "Won't you PLEASE take me home?"
Trouble in paradise