Hoarder, gloater, coward or punisher. Have you ever thought about what kind of gamer you really are?
You may hide it well, or you may find the idea of being pigeonholed repulsive but deep down we all know we're a certain type of gamer, just like we're a certain type of personality. Whether it's aggressive (like the angry German kid) and gleeful or modest and magnanimous, in the heat of battle the truth will out.
So are you the type to collect everything in sight like Amy Winehouse at an Oddbins, or do you jump into every situation all guns a-blazing only resorting to thinking after you've died several times? There's a category out there for everyone, but like astrology this is best not taken too seriously. See what type of gamers we are at the bottom.
If you have an OCD thing going on whereby you exhibit an inability to pass any corridor, crate or door without examining it then you're definitely an Explorer. Games take a long time to complete for you because you're fascinated by the implied possibilities of an environment. If you've got a 100 percent scan rate in Metroid Prime or found yourself climbing up un-climable rocks in Tomb Raider just to see if there's a hidden passage up there then you're already doomed. Explorers also find it hell to play through games like Deus Ex because there are simply too many options.
What's the cure? If you really want to cure this obsession try on-rails titles like Panza Dragoon Orta, Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles or House of the Dead. There is no choice.
The Magpie is near aligned to the Explorer but with one key difference: they don't give a fig about what the environment looks like they just crave all the goods. Like Vanessa Feltz at a buffet it's not the table that counts but snaffling up more booty than anyone else. If you've collected every hidden package in every GTA game and found all the hidden orbs in Crackdown then consider yourself a Magpie. MMO players want all the best treasure and will spend hours hitting rats just to buy a new hat from the local milliner. If you have more than 100,000 Xbox Achievement points then you fall well and truly into this category.
What's the cure? Scrabble, Picross or any of the games in 42 All-Time Classics. Seriously, learn to enjoy the game for its own sake.
A gamer who's compelled to throw themselves into every situation with gusto and a total lack of tactical nous. You're unable, or more precisely unwilling, to try new strategies and would rather die countless times trying the direct approach. With linear shooters this isn't so much of a problem but you find the notion of emergent gameplay a little frightening. Ever found yourself re-spawning at the same checkpoint marker in Halo's Library 20 times in a row and actually enjoying the punishment? On the other hand you abhor games like Pixel Junk: Monsters because the direct approach rarely works.
What's the cure? Wean yourself gradually off terminating by playing shooters with a tactical bent like Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter or the Brothers in Arms series.
The polar opposite of the Run N' Gunner. Instead of plunging headlong into danger they will marshal every weapon, resource and piece of information at their disposal to beat any given situation. If you've ever found yourself writing copious notes about armour and weapon types in an RPG or fiddling about incessantly with mech parts in an Armored Core game then consider yourself a Philosopher. We even know someone who used to videotape themselves playing Rebel Star on the Spectrum so they could learn from their errors. Don't mention Medieval Total War to a Philosopher or you may die from boredom.