When you see Fantasy Wars on the shelf, you would be forgiven for thinking that it was a generic and equally terrible fantasy RTS in which goblins have made war with humankind. So imagine our shock when we loaded up Fantasy Wars to find out that it was exactly that - and yes, it is terrible.
I would tell you the whole story, but there's no point - it's exactly the plot you'd imagine from a game called Fantasy Wars: some man wants to save the kingdom, there's a council that thinks he's reckless, and somewhere in the middle he has to kill a load of orcs or goblins. Mix in some magical weaponry and whoop-dee-doo, it's Fantasy Wars.
The turn-based action is a mixture of crippling boredom, mild frustration and a mild sensation of imminent doom - based on a huge, hexagonal board-game style map with gigantic pawns that you control scattered across it. You move a person near another person and they attack, or you move an archer within range and attack, taking off HP and hopefully killing them.
Every so often you even get a half-heartedly animated fight, and you can sit back and watch in awe as the badly animated soldiers waddle about while poking each other - if you really want to, that is.
There is a chance, no matter how slim, that you may have seen this game and imagined a world where you owned it. Now, right now, you must unimagine this world, and create a new one in which Fantasy Wars does not exist.