Godzilla Unleashed

He's big, he's rubbery and he's a little bit cross. Meet Japan's latex tormentor...

As far as reproducing the look of the movies goes, Godzilla Unleashed has it nailed.

The monsters look like men in rubber suits and the sets are scale models, sparsely populated with cardboard buildings and toy cars.

The story is something to do with alien invaders turning the good monsters of Earth into evil destruct-o-beasts by means of giant crystals.

You have to fight through tiny, cheapo facsimiles of major cities, beating up the bad monsters and restoring peace.

Wrath of the Godz

Or you could just smash the crystals, which, given the slow-motion awfulness of the fighting, is a preferable option.

If you stand on the far side of a crystal, the monsters will smash through it themselves in a bid to get at you. Saves you the bother.

With the crystals out of the way, the level is over and you move on to the next one. You also move on if you leave the controller alone and let Godzilla get his arse kicked, but that takes far too long.

It's incredibly brief, although you're supposed to play through it several times if you're determined to unlock the best characters.

The mind-numbing absence of fun precludes the likelihood of anyone actually doing that, so Godzilla fans who want to check out the authentic 3D models of their heroes without having to endure one of the ropiest beat-'em-ups around can use a cheat code.

We could mention the rubbish drawings that serve as cutscenes, the terrible camera, the force fields you can't see until you walk into them, or the auto-targeting that leaves you blasting death rays into the sky rather than at the monster in front of you. But that would be putting the boot in.

The verdict

It's a kitsch piece of Godzilla merchandise for fans with extremely high tolerance for low-quality videogames. The source material deserves far better than this.

Nintendo Wii
Beat 'em Up