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Galactic Civilizations Diary: Final Entry

These are the end times.

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But that wasn't the last of the Drengin. They still had one world: Andromeda IV. The problem: the Korx own Andromeda V.

There's no way to blow it up without blowing up the Korx world, there's no way to blow up the Korx world without breaking my alliance with them, and there's no way to break my alliance with them and survive. As powerful as I've become, they still dwarf me.

My first thought was to try to persuade the Korx to part with it - if they traded it to me, I could give it to the Drengin then immediately blow up the sun: my number one favourite tactic. But after some strained negotiations, it became clear that they wouldn't trade any of their planets for any price: even all of my planets. I'm not sure why I even offered that.

I would have to do this the hard way: television. At first I tried to build broadcast stations just out of range of any Drengin ships that could lunge from the Andromeda's orbit to attack them, so that I'd always have one turn in which to intercept and destroy any sabotage attempts. But these turned out to have woefully poor influence at that range, so I had to do it the even harder way: close range television.

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I built just one, fully upgraded and entirely weaponless cultural broadcast station one parsec away from Andromeda. Between it and their planet, a fleet of PEACE BRINGERS: an all-new ship design bristling with more guns than anything in the galaxy. In theory a sneaky Drengin ship could take a detour and still destroy the station before I could react, but their hubris got the better of them: every ship they launched attacked my fleet first, and was crushed.

They were doomed, even if they wouldn't admit it yet. I had 25 times their cultural influence over Andromeda IV, and they couldn't get out of orbit on their only world. But I could think of one final ignomy I could inflict to rub it in. I opened a channel.

"It seems this war was a mistake on our part," Lord Kona mutters.
"Peace, you say? That'll be three trillion credits please.".

Day 29: Problems

Finally, the Drengin admitted defeat and gave their last world to the Drath. Shortly after, it flipped to my side. Racially, the people down there were still Drengin, they just went from watching Drengin gladiator fights to Drath limbo contest to Spatial Hares sitcoms.

I was still left with a few problems.

Problem 1: My rebuilt Starfucker Prime was merrily destroying Terran suns in the galactic South when two troop transports came out of nowhere and took nearby Iconia IV. The trouble is, I own Iconia V, and it's a pretty nice place. For once, I don't want to destroy the sun.

Solution 1: I was just readying a fleet of culture-constructors when two more troop transports shot out of the black and took Iconia V. That simplified things. I blew up the sun.

Problem 2: The detour to do that leaves Starfucker Prime over a year's journey from Earth. At this point it would actually be quicker to build a new fleet of constructors and make a whole new Terror Star at Ecstasy.

Solution 2: Do that.

Problem 3
: The Iconians, who have worlds scattered all across the galaxy and would be a pain in the arse to destroy, have come to me asking for help in their fight against the... Korx. My allies. I want to be nice to strike up an alliance, but I don't know if this will risk my much more important treaty with the Korx.

Solution 3: Give them 200bc - peanuts. A few turns later, they declare their situation hopeless and, in gratitude for my help, leave all their highly profitable worlds to me. Score!

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