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Things we've learned from video games

A celebration of absurd game 'logic'

1. You can ease the pain of a point-blank shotgun blast to the chest by eating a few painkillers.

2. 200 years after a nuclear holocaust computers will still have power and be fully functional.

3. It takes several bullets fired directly into the face to kill an adult human male.

4. No matter how much you smash them against the side of the track or into other racers, expensive cars will never show any signs of damage.

5. The Ancient Greeks had American accents.

6. Traveling merchants can store hundreds of bullets and grenades in their coats, as well as a variety of pistols, shotguns, rocket launchers and sniper rifles.

7. New York City is actually a series of islands floating in the middle of a vast, watery nothingness.

8. It only takes one bullet to knock a heavy metal helmet from an enemy soldier's head, despite the fact that it's attached to their body by a breathing tube.

9. A band can make its fortune by performing sell-out gigs comprising entirely of three or four cover songs.

10. Space has a monarchy, led by a king who is a thousand feet tall with a roll of carpet attached to his head.

11. Mythical beasts will patiently wait for you to hit them first before they attack you.

12. Business owners mainly hang out by rooftops and other precarious ledges - especially during mafia takeovers.

13. Military girls are hot and wear cleave-revealing uniforms.

14. Japanese gangsters will use anything to hand as a weapon, including bicycles, chairs and other people.

15. Stealing a fork in front of someone will make an entire town hostile towards you.

Can you guess which games have taught us these important life-lessons?

Post your theories and add some of wisdom you've accrued...

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