Reviewing one game that consists of 12 games isn't the challenge here - it's being able to type properly after swinging my right arm around for hours and hours over the past week. Honestly, real physical strain here.
Don't pity us though, because it's been bloody good fun. A team-bonding experience even. Wii Sports Resort has, for us, already totally succeeded at doing exactly what Nintendo intended - get a bunch of gamers around a TV shouting, laughing and having a good old time. And we're paid to do this.
We've had it for weeks. Are we bored of it yet? Absolutely not. On the contrary, we can't wait to get the game home so we can smash our mates and mums over the heads with plastic sticks in Swordplay, ace them with our now-killer top spin in Table Tennis and slaughter them with our epic Archery skills.
Those are easily the three best new games in Resort, so we'll start here. Swordplay is the game we all imagined we'd be playing when we first saw the Wii Remote. It's that Lightsaber game we all wanted, only without the Lightsabers.
Holding the controller two-handed, like the handle of the sword, the game picks up every last movement, swiping either vertically down on your opponent's head or slashing horizontally.
Hold B and you can block incoming attacks by positioning your sword in the path of the incoming strike. A deflection stuns the attacker, giving the defendant a moment to counter attack. It's actually got strategy.
There are three modes within Swordplay. The one-on-one Duel mode (which Nintendo previously showed off) is fast - if a little cumbersome - against a human, but a good laugh. Speed Slice is like something out of WarioWare, with random items like tree stumps and watermelons appearing in front of players, who have to slice them in the indicated direction before their opponent to get a point.
Showdown mode, though, is what we're all about. There are ten levels, each full of enemies and a final boss character and you thwack them all in the face shouting (if you're anything like us) plenty of four-letter bleepers as you go. Or just "HAVE SOME" if your mum's in the room.
Table Tennis, while not as violent, is equally as visceral. It demonstrates how well the Wii MotionPlus works. With the bat mimicking your every move, the ball does everything you want. Hitting the ball out will be commonplace at first as you get used to it. But you get to learn the mechanics of the game, and putting spin on the ball is as natural as doing it in real life. Top marks there.
Archery is just superb, too, because it gets you moving just like you're doing the sport. You hold the Remote vertically towards the screen, as if it were the bow. Gripping the Z trigger on the Nunchuk in your other hand, you draw back to get tension on the string, aim and then fire by releasing Z.
You judge the height and angle of your shot to compensate for the differing wind speeds and the arrow's trajectory arch. It's not baby stuff this. Testosterone-fuelled rivalry is what commences.
Those are our most played games, with a definite skill factor to them - perfect for us proper gamer types. But Wii Sports Resort has 12 games that cover all the bases.
If you're a little girl at heart you'll probably take more of a shining to Frisbee, in which you throw a Frisbee for a dog to catch. Nintendo's Cammie Dunaway loves it. There's Frisbee Golf too although, despite its cuddly looks, actually throwing the Frisbee in a straight line is so hard to master it'll probably send your little sister into a depression before she works it out.