Nothing of any note really happened this week, guys.
Unless you find SHOCKING PS3 HARDWARE FAULTS interesting of course. Or Infinity Ward's offices being STORMED BY ACTIVISION.
In truth, it's been the most tabloid-friendly seven days of 2010 so far - and probably 2009, too. So it's no surprise that CVG readers haven't been backward in coming forward with their commentary...
'Hi, My name's Chris and I've been a gamer for 26 years now..I started of on the light stuff - Game & Watch and what have you, but before I knew it I was playing Space Harrier.'
Buffig confesses his sins to the group.
'Finally, some real news! I can't wait for the truth behind this to come out.'
C'mon now Black Mantis. We can't just make this stuff happen every day.
'Sounds a bit like the ending of Modern Warfare 2.'
Life imitating art, right wrightandrewjame?
'Maybe this mission should be released as DLC, spec ops mode.'
Wilzy comes up with Game Idea Of The Week.
'I SURVIVED THE APOCALYPS3- December 31st 1999.'
SICARUS1 provides a ready-made T-shirt slogan.
'Sony doesn't know what day it is.'
Alan666's figurative insult gets literal.
'I saw someone on PSN (MAG)called Fagina_Blow_Job.'
Wildhook2 keeps an eye out for 'colourful characters'.
'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I like Creme Eggs,
Activision are poo.'
We're not sure MPH was a favourite of their English teacher.
'Lay off the crack Ubisoft.....'
veritas1 sums up his surprise in inimitable style.
'Meaningful sex quick-time events...?
Press 'X' to say "it's never gone off that quickly before, honest. maybe we can try again in 5..."'
dannage805 gets a little over-excited.
'First commenter won the article. I'm not even going to bother making a rude joke now because I've been outsmutted.'
... and if we know one thing about SICARUS1, it's that he isn't easily outsmutted.
'Sex for me is more like work when I've got a hangover, other times she is tired and would rather sleep. It's not always fun when you're doing it 3 or 4 times a week, every week. But it's good most of the time.'
And that's Nick33 just sharing his sexual problems. Thanks for that, fella.
'Anyhoo, on a lighter note, I hear the Sun have a topless PS3 on page 3.'
flash501's a true gaming fantasist.
'And in real news, Tess Daly still has great boobs.'
We like jubbgi01's definition of 'real news'.