Interviews

Command & Conquer's Joe Kucan

Kane speaks, gives piggy backs

Joe Kucan is officially the longest running actor in a videogame - and he's got a Guinness World Records certificate to prove it.

The man behind one of gaming's most recognisable villains, Kane has been integral to the Command & Conquer series since he directed the first part (and subsequent three) in 1994.

By his own admission he didn't expect to be doing this for another 15 years, but here he is in the fourth and supposedly last instalment, Command & Conquer 4.

We caught up with Joe to discuss his memories from the series and where he's going next. Oh, and in case you didn't notice he's not a very serious man. At all.

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So, It's been 15 years...

Since I met you? No - you just walked in the room. It feels like it's been 15 years between us, but...

... since C&C kicked off, we mean. How does it feel wrapping it up after this long?

I'm actually highly medicated right now because the depression hit me so hard. I've actually tried to kill myself four different ways. I tried hanging myself, - my maid cut me down, the bitch - I tried jumping off a bridge, - but I was attached to a bungee cord - I stuck my head in an oven and turned it on - but it was an electric oven, so that was f***ing pointless - and I tried a gun and I just missed - three shots and I missed.

The depths of my depression knows absolutely no bottom. That's why I'm speaking nonsense now because I'm actually on Zoloft. Zoloft and Viagra.

So I guess to answer your question, the answer is really, really, really depressed and sad. Thanks for bringing up such a really sore subject, Andy. The medicine was really working.

So you got in the Guinness World Records for the longest serving actor in a videogame...

I know! How cool is that? Tick it off on your goals in life; buy a new Porsche, have children, Guinness World Records... it's lovely.

Are you surprised you stuck around this long?

I'm absolutely amazed. When we did the very first game I thought it was going to be a one off. Command & Conquer, maybe an expansion disc and then move on to another Command & Conquer-like game. I didn't realise that we were creating a franchise.

Games hadn't really begun to franchise then. Adventure games like Police Quest had franchises, but the idea of a franchised game never really occurred to me - I didn't have that sort of vision. It's just mind boggling.

And then I made the mistake ten years ago of putting on 300 pounds. So I was just a big fat yob, a monster. When they came back and said they wanted to do C&C3 and interviewed me I weighed 420 pounds. They actually had a crane come to my house, knock down the wall and pull me out to drive me to the liposuction where they sucked out all this fat. They actually used that fat to feed starving kids in Ethiopia, so not only did C&C3 revitalise my career and make me healthy again - and beautiful - it actually saved a village in Ethiopia from certain starvation.

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Kane: So evil he gave Andy a piggy back

What do you think it is about C&C that's kept the series so popular for so long?

Me. It's all me. It's 100% me. Because let's face it, the game's rubbish. The gameplay is just hot, stinking crap. In fact nobody actually plays online, they just turn the game on to see videos of me over and over again.

I don't take credit for it but I think as a game Command & Conquer really decided what real-time strategy was. It feels to me like it was a genre-creating game. Sure, Dune 2000 was around but Command & Conquer really was the precedent for real-time strategy.

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