SUPER MONKEY BALL
Super Monkey Ball 3D may indeed soon be upon us, but barring a miracle of finishing- Launchers-on-your-first-go proportions, it won't manage to capture the magic of the first game, trading off former glories but with the added dubious benefit of being able to get up close and personal with AiAi's monkey backside.
Nope, we're talking about the Cube original, with its finely tuned stages, its entirely skill-based challenges and, yes, the slice of life-consuming wondrousness that was Monkey Target.
Pilotwings might do the whole landing-for-points thing, but it doesn't come close to capturing the bizarre beauty of ape-based flight. We'd pay top dollar for a fleshed-out 3D pass-the-portable multiplayer Monkey Target on its own, never mind as an aside to the main game.
We'd never get any work done, but surely that's a reasonable trade-off for a remake of arguably the finest minigame ever created? Right?
RESIDENT EVIL 4
For our money, Shinji Mikami's action-horror is tied with Galaxy 2 as the most close-to-perfect videogame ever. The one tiny niggle, however, concerns the mysterious Merchant. Just who was he? And how did he manage to make a living selling weapons in a village full of nutters?
Still, it's clear he can handle himself - he's got an enviable arsenal at his disposal - so why not let him use them? We can picture him quipping "what, are ya dyin'?" as he blows Ganados away. We also like the idea of that addictive metagame getting a 3D makeover.
Shifting guns, grenades, herbs and eggs to fill every available space was a spatial puzzle as satisfying as any riddle Hershel Layton ever solved.
DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS
When Charlton Heston shook his fist at his simian captors in Planet Of The Apes, little did he know us humans would be doing a similar thing to guide one of their number through a series of obstacle courses 40 years on.
The waggle-to-roll mechanic in this sumptuous side-scroller isn't so much of an issue during normal play, but racing against time to get a gold medal requires the kind of wrist action that left JLS hospitalised after making that Wii Party advert.
Fortunately, that's a problem that wouldn't need solving in a 3DS version, so there's just one problem to fix: an instant restart for time attacks is an essential tweak that would alleviate much of the frustration at these tricky trial-and-error tests.
Oh, and we'd also welcome an alternative ending involving Diddy Kong and a series of sharp implements.
SUPER MARIO GALAXY
Super Mario Galaxy 3D? The very idea gets our excitement glands a-tingling. But that's not to say there's no room for improvement. Galaxy 2 went a long way to solving the problems of the first game's beautiful but pointless hub stage, but then forced players to return to it after every star.
Tradition be damned: we wanted to jump straight back into these magnificent microcosms of platforming perfection without having to report back to base in between.
If Nintendo deem a hub world essential, then at least let it be something like Super Mario Sunshine's secret-packed Delfino Plaza. Fingers crossed a 3DS Galaxy will also get rid of Lubba, your morbidly obese 'helper' on the Starship Mario, whose patronising suggestion of "taking a break?" after our umpteenth failure made us want to ram our star bit collection right up his...
A return to Clover Studios' blistering brawler is unlikely, but if our movie-loving hero made an unexpected comeback on 3DS we'd be first in line to pick up a copy. We're drooling just thinking about it.