We didn't think it would happen so soon, but Asphalt 3D has a challenger for the dubious honour of being the most hilariously bad racer on 3DS. Driver:
Renegade doesn't share Asphalt's technical incompetence - it's reasonably attractive, in a flat, sterile, pop-up-riddled sort of way. As far as gameplay goes, though, it's absolutely horrendous - in a freshly laid-dog-turdtrodden- through-the-house sort of way.
CRASH AND BURN
There's one mission where you've got to destroy 15 AI-controlled cars, except the game can only handle five at a time. They trundle around the same fixed route at the same modest speed, occasionally crashing into other cars and getting stuck on corners. After bumping into one and sending it sliding into a wall, we'd have to hit the brakes and wait for it to catch up before giving it another shunt.
Two or three knocks later the car explodes and vanishes, freeing up a slot for another identical vehicle to spawn in its place, following the same circuit as the others. It took us about 10 minutes, not one second of which could be described as anything resembling fun.
The game tried to pull the same trick a few levels later, except this time the bad guys were out to ram us off the road. We finished
this one by parking by a garage, which instantly repaired the damage we took as the cars homed in on us and exploded.
Story mode is over quickly, as a handful of the 20 levels last barely two minutes (and we were playing on Hard, too). There are loads of races, but we've long rated open-world racing games where you have to keep looking at the map lest you miss your turning as one of the poorest ideas in gaming.
The only remotely decent parts are the cutscenes, simply for the unintentional comedy of the terrible script and atrocious voice acting. The whole game feels unfinished, like a tech demo with a few hours of gameplay bolted on and a thoroughly discredited name attached to it.
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Not the giant cheapo pile of rubbish we expected - just a tiny, feeble, overpriced piece of crap. A genuinely awful addition to the 3DS library.
- Moves quite smoothly
- City's bleak and devoid of life
- Awful voice acting
- No challenge
- Over in two hours