Technically, there's still a day left until the sweaty masses are rounded up and booted out of Gamescom, but we've seen the conferences, absorbed the media and consumed all the german sausages a man can take.
You in the back, stop laughing and grow up.
The Gamescom vein has been thoroughly tapped. Our fingers are worn, our nerves are frayed and our minds are awash with PR speak, but we've got just enough in us to tap out a rundown of our highs and lows of the event.
HIGH: Remember Me
Capcom is currently the boogeyman from Japan. Internet forums and comment sections erupt into a vocal symphony of DLC practice complaints and critiques at a mere mention of its name. So it's good to see, hear and read the buzz surrounding Remember Me. We're drowning in sequels and known quantities, so it's no surprise at all that Dontnod Entertainment's futuristic action game is the subject of many spirited discussions.
Remember Me isn't playable at the event but we've poured over the screens and videos Capcom has released. Cheesy dialogue aside it looks very promising. Once we've seen and sampled more of it we'll consider it on its own merits, but for now we're revelling in obvious comparisons to Assassin's Creed, Uncharted, Blade Runner and Inception.
LOW: Cruel Half-Life 3 teases
It was never going to happen really was it? It never does. And yet for some reason we still feel utterly crushed that the game's blatantly erroneous appearance on the list of products on show at Gamescom turned out to be just that.
The perpetual edge-of-seat-anticipation that we've felt for the last five odd years has pushed us well beyond breaking point, we're floating in a realm of madness and illogicality now. A dark place where even the most implausible, obviously fake Half-Life 3 developments are stretched and skewed into something vaguely resembling a dead certainty by our desperate psyche.
What else is on the list? Dragon Age 3. EA has confirmed it's working on Dragon Age 3 hasn't it? Yes, it has! It said it will "surprise and delight". Yes, surprise and delight! We're about due for a Dragon Age 3 announcement aren't we? Yes, Origins was out just over a year before the second was confirmed. We're due, definitely! We're due. EA is going to announce Dragon Age 3 at Gamescom. It will. I know. Which means... Half-Life 3 will be there. Finally, Half-Life 3 will be announced. This time. For sure.
On a personal note, I was very disappointed with Dragon Age 2 and am indifferent about a sequel. But I wished with every fibre of my being for a Dragon Age 3 announcement during that EA conference.