Welcome to this week's trip down Tree Murder Lane, where nobody cares who publishes what game, dub step doesn't exist yet and absolutely nobody can call us lazy sods in the comments.
Adding six years to last week's revisit of the "32-bit war" (or rather, the eventual Sony slaughter of the Neo Geo and 3DO) we've progressed to October 2000, when everyone's still a bit taken back by PlayStation's market dominance (only 6 of the 23 games reviewed in issue 227 are on non-Sony platforms) and yet another 'next-gen' console shift is about to occur.
As always, If there's anything not featured here that you'd like to see included in future CVG Classic updates, please do let us know in the comments. We listen.
Right: Issue 227's Driver 2 cover. These days if you're going to put art on your magazine front that doesn't feature a man in a helmet with a gun, you'd better have a bloody good reason for it.
YESTERDAY'S NEWS: Nintendo kick sand in Sony's face!
Nintendo "set the world alight" at its Spaceworld show in September, unveiling not one, but two "next-gen replacements" for the N64 and Game Boy Color.
"GameCube and Game Boy Advance will be the most powerful console and fully portable handheld in the world and, in a genius move on Nintendo's part, will be fully compatible," CVG reports.
"Not only are games being developed that will play on both systems - Pokémon is a dead cert - but Advance can even be used as a controller for GameCube."
Nintendo's purple box will launch in Japan in July 2001 at a price rumoured to be around £199, it's said, while the GBA is expected to land in March of the same year for about £65.
CVG's verdict? "At £65 GBA will dominate the handheld world. Period.' While the GameCube's focus on gaming and not DVD's means "it's got the word 'fun' stamped all over it. It looks like a serious challenger in the console market. Not just because it's a powerful bit of kit, but because it's Nintendo, and Nintendo means quality games."
Other headlines: EA has confirmed it's secured the rights to the Harry Potter books with Bullfrog on dev duties, while the UK launch of the PS2 has slipped from October to November 24 - "all will be forgiven if PS2 rocks".
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
- Alien Resurrection (PSOne) - 4/5
- ATV Quad Power Racing (PSone) - 1/5
- ECW Anarchy Rulz (PSOne) - 3/5
- F1 Championship Season 2000 (PSOne) - 4/5
- Grind Session (PSOne) - 3/5
- Heavy Metal Fakk 2 (PC) - 4/5
- Koudelka (PSOne) - 3/5
- Moto Racer World Tour (PSOne) - 3/5
- Mr. Driller (PSOne) - 4/5
- RC De Go (PSOne) - 3/5
- RC Revenge Re-Volt (PSOne) - 3/5
- Spider-Man (PSOne) - 4/5
- Star Trek: Invasion (PSOne) - 4/5
- Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force (PC) - 5/5
- Sydney 2000 (DC) - 4/5
- Team Buddies (PSOne) - 4/5
- Tenchu 2: Birth of the Stealth Assassins (PSOne) - 4/5
- Terracon (PSOne) - 4/5
- Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (PSOne) - 5/5
- Turok 3: Shadow of Oblivion (N64) - 4/5
- Virtua Athlete 2K (DC) - 4/5
- Wacky Races (PSOne) - 2/5
- WWF Royal Rumble (DC) - 5/5
OLD SCHOOL ISSUES: 'Dreamcast online is too laggy!'
'Wild Willy' is feeling the UK broadband blues (on a 56k modem): "I'd like to respond to Graham Hanks (issue 226) about Chu-Chu Rocket being given away free to Dreamcast owners. Just like him, I only found out that the game had been released when I went to my local shop to buy a Dreamcast (yes, people are still buying Dreamcasts).
"I was going to buy one anyway and the free game seemed like a nice bonus. I like puzzle games, and the single-player game is brilliant, but after seeing those telly adverts for Dreamcast online, I took the plunge... and it was so slow it was rubbish.
"I wanted to warn a friend of mine who also owns a DC, but when I told him he laughed and said he already knew. He then showed me a copy of your magazine where you came to exactly the same conclusion. So the moral of this story is: read every issue of CVG.
"P.S. Can CVG please send me some free Dreamcast games?"
CVG's response: "Hmm, if we didn't know better we'd say you were trying to butter us up before blagging some freebies."
FEATURE: PS2 Countdown
CRIMES AGAINST ADVERTISING: San Francisco Rush 2049
Ah, Midway. We very much miss you and your weirdly square cars and strong marketing slogans. Thankfully, the game itself is much stronger than this backpage San Francisco Rush 2049 advert.
Notable mention: "Jafa Cakes: the favourite half time snack of Manchester United."