How scary is that cover?
This week's CVG issue under the microscope releases around the same time as a certain beat-em-up classic. We can't remember which - the cover art, six adverts, four-page guide, constant references in screenshot captions and news stories completely passed us by.
Only joking - it's Street Fighter II, the game CVG eds love so much they claim it makes the arcade version of Mortal Kombat look "crap". Elsewhere Nintendo's decided to move up to Trollcon 5 in its Super Nintendo advertising campaign (see below) and we've bagged the WORLD EXCLUSIVE review of Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
As always, If there's anything not featured here you'd like to see included in future CVG Classic updates, have a moan in the comments. Constructively.
Right: Issue 132's Blanka from Street Fighter II cover is literally terrifying. Even more bed-wetting is the included A3 poster, perfect for nonchalantly placing on the ceiling above the missus' side of the bed. Parp.
YESTERDAY'S NEWS: MC Mario Respect is Due
Other than the proverbial tsunami of all things Street Fighter II, it's a bit quiet on the news front this month. Oh, except for word that rap outfit Ambassadors of Funk (featuring MC Mario) have released a record based on Super Mario Land - and according to CVG it looks set to STORM THE CHARTS.
"The word is that this one's destined for the top 20 along with, wait for it, Tetris by none of than Doctor Spin. The CVG boys were going to play both singles and give you the full lowdown on these sound sensations but, err, we didn't."
This is a real thing:
Other headlines: EA's dropped a release "bombshell" with the announcement of several Megadrive titles including Space Hulk and ahem, "Buzz Aldrin's Race into Space", while Nintendo's set to air a new Super NES TV ad with special effects by the blokes who did Terminator 2. Sweet.
RETRO REVIEWS: Sonic the Hedgehog 2
- Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Master System) - 93
- The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare! (SNES) - 90
- Thunderstorm (Mega CD) - 81
- Art of Fighting (Neo Geo) - 71
- Super Bowling (SNES) - 62
- Rampart (SNES) - 89
- Predator 2 (Megadrive) - 79
- Side Pocket (Megadrive) - 91
- NHLPA 93 (Megadrive) - 91
- Smash TV (Master System) - 38
- Smash TV (Megadrive) - 83
- RoboCop 3 (SNES) - 64
- MVP Baseball (SNES) - 71
- Mortal Kombat (Arcade) - 72
OLD SCHOOL ISSUES: 'Amstrad owners deserve respect!'
Danny Graham (not that one) from Scotland is standing up for owners of rubbish consoles. And Swansea City players (not really). "In a recent issue Kwasi Mensah was slagging all the Amstrad owners. I own both an Amstrad and a Megadrive and I would like to point out that some Amstrad games like Laser Squad and Lord of Chaos are better than several of the Megadrive games that I own.
"Also, if an Amstrad owner and a console owner buy a crap game whose bank account does it damage the most? If Kwasi likes annoying people so much perhaps he should changes his surname to Modo and ring bells in the street at two in the morning.
"PS Don't you feel sorry for all those sad people called Kwasi who live in Brixton?"
CVG's response: "At least he doesn't live in Scotland playing five-year-old Amstrad games all day."
CRIMES AGAINST ADVERTISING: Nintendo trolling
These days if Microsoft printed a DPS magazine ad with the sentence, "Sony: Where's your cross-game chat?" It would kick off big style. In 1992, this was considered perfectly acceptable banter - or "bantz," as Wayne Rooney would say.
But Nintendo could've at least been a bit more witty with its Sega baiting: "Why did the Hedgehog cross the road? To get to Super Mario Land 2." Doesn't the famous joke involve a chicken? Are there even any roads in Sonic? 3/10, Ninty marketing chaps.
Still, we bet those Street Fighter ads were cheap to print.
CVG CLASSICS ARCHIVE
- Issue 117, August 1991: Sonic review, Mega CD revealed
- Issue 128, August 1992: SNES imports and £500 Neo Geo conundrums
- Issue 154, September 1994: Neo Geo CD, 3DO and PC Engine - The 32-bit war!
- ssue 227, October 2000: "Awesome! Driver 2"
- Issue 152, July 1994: "Bloody hell...Harvester's in town'
- Issue 96, October 1989: "World Exclusive Batman Game Reviewed'