"Spartan? John Spartan? Aw shit, they let anybody into this century! What the hell you doing here?"
"Oh, you're on the cover of this week's pick for CVG Classics. Well, alright then."
Thanks to his exploits as a Hollywood action hero, Sylvester Stallone has graced the covers of a fair few video games down the years. As huge fans of Demolition Man we couldn't pass up the opportunity to get Sgt. John Spartan's mug on the front page of the site. We've also just spent a tenner on a Blu-Ray version of the movie. No regrets.
Fortunately for us, issue 146 of Computer and Video Games magazine also happens to be a 148 Xmas special packed with plenty of nostalgia-inducing reviews, news and features. It also had a free Zool badge which, as you can see from the cover image, was excitedly ripped off.
This week's issue lets us hop through a paper time portal to take a look back at the launch of the Jaguar, a preview of the video game adaptation of Demolition Man, and a review of Rebel Assault, among other things.
Above right: The cover of the January 1994 issue of CVG. Look at those luscious, pursed lips. He's definitely wearing lipstick
YESTERDAY'S NEWS: "Big Apple launch for the Jaguar"
"Addressing the 120-strong congregation of journalists, developers and retailers at the recent New York launch o f the 'Jagwaa' (that's how they pronounce it over there) was Sam Tramiel, President of Atari. Tramiel told the computer and video game industry representatives how the promotional campaign 'will rip at the guts of the Jag's 16-buit rivals.'
Atari did its utmost to hype up its latest games console prior to release; it adopted an aggressive marketing strategy, teased some promising games and - most importantly - made the 'R' in Jaguar look like a swipe from a deadly wild cat. Genius.
The Jag launched in 1993 for $249.99, but failed to gain any traction. Partly because it was initially only marketed in New York and San Francisco, but also because of a lack of games and strong competition from the likes of Sega, Nintendo and Sony.
The lack of third-party support proved to be a death sentence for the Jaguar. Atari's best efforts to drum up interest weren't enough, and by 1995 the system was widely considered to be a write off.
The mice from Mars: Konami and Sega have started work on converting the latest American cartoon craze set to be even more popular than the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Biker Mice from Mars follows the exploits of three rebellious mice who ride around on bikes with special features doing good for all and stuff. The game isn't due for ages but see for yourself what all the fuss is about when C4's Big Breakfast starts screening the new show in the new year.
- Pop 'n' Twin-Bee (SNES) - 93
- Batman Returns (Mega-CD) - 91
- Lemmings (Lynx) - 92
- The Secret of Monkey Island (PC) - 93
- Mortal Kombat (Mega Drive) - 90
- Strike (SNES) - 93
- Streets of Rage 2 (Game Gear) - 94
- Jimmy Connors' Tennis (Lynx) - 90
- Ranger X (Mega Drive) - 93
- Krusty's Fun House (Game Gear) - 91
- Syndicate (Amiga) - 91
- Prince of Persia 2 - 92
- Street Fighter 2 Turbo: Hyper Fighting (SNES) - 95
- Super Mario All-Stars (SNES) - 94
- Sensible Soccer (Mega Drive) - 94
PREVIEW: Demolition Man
CRIMES AGAINST ADVERTISING: Mr Nutz
We're not sure what's more shocking, the advertising slogan commanding readers to grab their 'nutz' or the offensive-to-human-eyes colour of the text. It burns!
CVG CLASSICS ARCHIVE
- Issue 117, August 1991: Sonic review, Mega CD revealed
- Issue 128, August 1992: SNES imports and £500 Neo Geo conundrums
- Issue 154, September 1994: Neo Geo CD, 3DO and PC Engine - The 32-bit war!
- ssue 227, October 2000: "Awesome! Driver 2"
- Issue 152, July 1994: "Bloody hell...Harvester's in town'
- Issue 96, October 1989: "World Exclusive Batman Game Reviewed'
- Issue 132, November 1992: Blanka's in your nightmares...'
- Issue 083, September 1988: Viva la 16-bit Revolution
- Issue 156, September 1994: Rise of the Robots - 91%