Saxton Hale has despatched an angry letter to players of Team Fortress 2 outlining new changes to the game's Mann Vs Machine mode.
"Bidwell's drummed up some penalties for any coward he catches running away from the frontlines," writes the (fictional, obviously) CEO of Mann Co. "If any of you cowards out there find these penalties too harsh, don't worry about it, because see Point #1 (I am coming for you."
And the penalties? In the considerably more sober MVM FAQ, it's specified that "penalties will be imposed on players who repeatedly abandon games. These players will be temporarily placed in a low-priority pool and will experience longer matchmaking times."
So there you go, cowards: abandon the frontline and be made to wait.