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Comments of the Week

Your finest, funniest and moaniest comments over the past seven days

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Review: Ryse - Son of Rome has epic ambitions but is no classic

"Dry your Ryse mate
I know it's hard to take but my mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your Ryse mate
I know you want to make me see how much this game hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over" - TheLastDodo

It's a shame this wasn't for Assassin's Creed IV, because then we could have made an 'Original Pirate Material' joke.


Review: Ryse - Son of Rome has epic ambitions but is no classic

"I think CVG are being generous because it looks so nice.
Plays like a bag of cats though." - brookie_2001

Yeah, that bit where the Roman guard chucks a ball of wool into the arena and the soldiers all roll around with it is brilliant.


Review: Super Mario 3D World brings star quality to Wii

"Zelda: A Link Between Worlds 10/10
Super Mario 3D World 10/10
Killzone: Shadow Fall 7/10
Dead Rising 3 7/10

Sorry Sony and Microsoft but new, spec heavy consoles doesn't instantly mean better games. Once again the masters of gaming shine through the darkness." - ThomasFitzgibbon

Oof, them's fighting words. Have some of that, MicroSony.


PS4 UK launch apps include BBC iPlayer and BBC Sport

"I contacted Netflix and was told by customer services that Netflix will be available on the PS4 from 29th of November, sorry for any inconvenience. I told them it wasn't inconvenient, that's launch day." - buffig

And then you both laughed, then sighed, then kissed.


Xbox One: The launch unit verdic

"I'll be trading in my Kinect to make up for the price difference eventually!!" - Handsomevulture

Um... except everyone will already have one. That's like trading in your power supply.


Review: Ryse - Son of Rome has epic ambitions but is no classic

"...and fall." - Yogafire

Subtle.


Review: Need for Speed Rivals is a fine debut for Ghost Games

"A racing game gets a negative for the plot..." - Multiplayerking

"Well... you are advised to watch out for plot holes when driving." - Malmo

That's some Monty Python quality stuff right there. Old funny Python, not reunion tour Python.


Microsoft acknowledges Xbox One online issues

"Just came from my local EB and saw 2 XBones being returned,didn't hang around to find out what problem was as the guy returning it was one unhappy camper.
PS4 pre orders they said were also 2 to 1 over XBone.They are expecting a massive PS4 launch next week and don't know where they are going to hold all the stock for it." - barrett

We've just had the hopeless detective on the phone. He says even he can see you're more than a wee bit pro-Sony.


MOANERS OF THE WEEK

Review: Forza Motorsport 5 is a beautiful simulation but subdued race

"What a joke review, further evidence of CVG's Sony fanboyism, this score exists for no other reason except to lower Forza 5's Metacritic rating, shameful, unprofessional behaviour." - RingoPrime

Yes, you're right, we're thoroughly ashamed... except we aren't on Metacritic.


Review: Forza Motorsport 5 is a beautiful simulation but subdued race

"I'd like to see a review of this by people who are actually into cars and motorsport outside of a console. One of this games minus points is 'punishing handling'. Jesus Christ, it's full of top end sportscars and the like, it's not a daily commute simulator. Punishing handling should be a plus point.

I just don't see why reviewers can't approach the game for what it is, rather that what they think it should be. It's not an arcade racer and that's that. Review this in mind of those who want a serious racer.

Then again I imagine it was played on a joypad by C&VG and the reviewer has never hit a race track in real life or even driven a fast car." - superfruit

Sorry mate, but Felipe Massa was too busy competing at the US Grand Prix to review it for us.


Review: Super Mario 3D World brings star quality to Wii

"Setting myself up for hate in this fanboy-heavy section... I'm so fed up of either Nintendo first party games & indie titles getting held to lower standards than the 'big boys'. It's just hipsterism plaguing the industry right now. Those who have rose-tinted goggles for 'simpler times' are massively bumping up the scores for these titles because they evoke happy memories. I mean, 10?? Really?? I was similarly annoyed by IGN's Link Between Worlds review - a good sequel, not a great story, fun... Then BAM! 94%!!! If the exact same game was a spin-off of, say, Dragon Age, it would have got 10% less.

Mercifully the gaming public at large - including the likes of me who has been gaming for 25 years and has a NES, SNES etc - is not being fooled and Wii U's will continue to sell poorly. Then it's games will sell for insane money on eBay in a few years because hipsters who insist they were the best games of this era are desperate to get hold of another copy." - Handsomevulture

Lighten up mate.


GAME says new Xbox One orders will arrive by Christmas

"I wish C&VG would remove the vote up/down buttons. They're annoying. I made a 100% factual statement, with no personal opinion at all, and I got voted down. So childish." - raredevice

We feel it only right to point out this comment had 18 downvotes. It's a democratic system, after all.

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