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Comments of the Week

Your finest, funniest and oddest comments over the past seven days

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Dungeon Keeper for Android filters low scoring user reviews

"Welcome to the dungeon'we've got no fun and games'we've got nothing you want and dont care about your names'we are the people that sell you junk'sh*t that you dont need'if you got the money honey we've got tons of cheese" - Mar27w

Fell apart a bit at the end there, but we respect your dedication to seeing it through.


Europe's football elite coming to Zen Pinball

"Apparently they were gonna bring out a Man Yoo one but the ball wouldn't go further than halfway up the table." - Paul Skinback

Come on, what's the Mata with you.


Assassin's Creed 4 shipments 2 million short of AC3

"Take That outsold Busted. Busted outsold 1Direction. Sales are not a mark of quality. Neither is my knowledge of music." - Tailisjoy

Quite. We're pretty sure Busted never outsold anyone.


Peter Molyneux says new Dungeon Keeper is 'ridiculous'

"s**t, I think I just agreed with Peter Molyneux." - arron114

Happens to the best of us, mate.


Flappy Bird creator reveals why he pulled the game

"now imagine tobacco companies thinking this way "we are doing harm, lets stop selling this stuff"" - kovin

That's just crazy talk. Speak sense.


Adam Orth reveals indie game inspired by Twitter imbroglio

"i wonder if it'll require an always online connection or if he's dealt with it and decided that would be a stupid f**king thing to do." - billysastard

Will you never let the man LIVE?!


Indie dev: Candy Crush cloned my game and now King wants my trademark cancelled

"You might say King is holding Albert Ransom..." - kyleforrester87

Just to clarify, the indie chap in question is indeed named Albert Ransom.


One in three Vita owners have a PS4, says Sony

"The Vita is a lovely machine, I got mine on a whim about 4 months ago and love it. Remote play is extremely cool and lets me play Black Flag on the toilet." - apalmer28

"Yarrr! Send 'em to Davey Jones' locker!" - BadgerOfDoom

Oh dear.


PUNS OF THE WEEK

God of War 2 director's next game is 'not even close to 75% complete'

"Whatever they're working on, hopefully it'll have a wad of gore

I'll get my coat..." - Luke Beaman

It's alright, we've already got it for you.


Radiohead publishes experimental mobile game

"I thought this game was a bit of a let down but I'm optimistic that it could be improved with updates. That said it's quite addictive and sometimes I start feeling like a vegetable after awhile.

Maybe I should make a guide with 15 steps for those who might be finding it difficult and then you can all prove yourself to me.

Too much? All I need is my coat and I'll be off once I've found out how to disappear completely, perhaps I'll be lucky and learn it fairly quickly.

Note: I've not actually played the game yet, I'm downloading it now and I just wanted to make some puns whilst waiting." - The_Mighty_Steve

Never have we wanted a download to finish so quickly.


Broforce is what happens when you mix Contra with '80s action heroes

"Getting a broner just thinking about this game..." - power rack

"That gameplay video totally bro'd me away!" - MrPirtniw

"Sounds like the UK may indeed be seeing some heavy brofall..." - power rack

"Bro me! This looks fun..." - immy46

All of you are banned from the universe.


MOANERS OF THE WEEK

Video: Is Titanfall really Xbox One's killer app?

""There's no doubt that Titanfall is this year's most eagerly-anticipated release" my arse. What planet is this muppet living on to make that kind of witless comment? Destiny is a more anticipated release this year. Hell, it's one of the most anticipated releases of all time & this clown wants to call a multiplayer only M$/PC exclusive (and thus a limited audience release) the most eagerly awaited game of the year? Time to find a new job mate, with a talent for spouting BS like that you'd make a consummate politician (or a lawyer) but someone with enough knowledge to be a game journalist you are most definitely not." - CrouchingWeasel

Video games: serious business.


Hands-on preview: Clouds hang over Infamous Second Son

"Why do you want the gameplay to 'change much' FFS? If you want different gameplay, play a different game! I for one am totally sick of franchises completely changing direction in its gameplay, for absolutely NO reason. Resident Evil 5 and 6 spring to mind, Dead Space 2 and 3 are more examples. STOP GIVING SEQUELS s**t SCORES/PREVIEWS FOR BEING MORE OF THE SAME. That's what sequels are, if you don't want more of the same, BUY A DIFFERENT GAME." - Peter Corr

We appreciate with the sentiment, we just aren't keen on the delivery. A bit like a postman jamming flowers through a letterbox.


EU eShop update: Dr Mario free to those who buy Dr Luigi

"This is worse than Xbox Live. It is like, a twenty year old game. I ain't paying forty quid a year, admittedly, for this service. But I have never fought in the war either but I constantly rail against that.

Yours,

Mr Whiney" - Tailisjoy

You weren't there, man!


Watch Dogs release date set between April and June 2014, Wii U version delayed

"OH, FOR F**KS SAKE!!!
Why does this keep happening!? They hold stuff back on Wii U, then people go and buy it on other consoles rather than spend 4 months avoiding spoilers, THEN when it finally comes out and only 200 people buy it, they go "oh, not enough people bought it on Wii U, so we're not going to patch it or release DLC.", meaning those poor customers get for there patience... Some crowbarred-in touch screen minigames, a map on the gamepad & bugs out the wazoo." - Tomuki

We had bugs out the wazoo once. The doctors couldn't look us in the eye.

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