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Comments of the Week

Your finest, funniest and oddest comments over the past seven days

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Thief runs at 1080p on PS4, but 900p on Xbox One

"If that's the case, why not lower the resolution of the PS4 version and add some bells and whistles or increase the frame rate. Well maybe not the bells and whistles, it might alert the guards......Cough" - buffig

Well, coughing isn't exactly going to help either.


Japanese PS4 launch event to be livestreamed by Sony

"Expect all current hi scores on Resogun to be utterly destroyed as well." - ileatyoualive

Already I've gone down from 203rd to 5,061,394th.


Bleszinski says Gears of War was more macho than planned

"Can't believe no one has said Bellendski yet." - Reegeee

Oh, we're sure someone has at some point.


Miyamoto confirms Year of Luigi will end in March

"I am honestly gutted.

What the hell am I supposed to do after March 18th?

This is worse than when Take That split up." - NEO_SUPERMAN

You'll always have Robbie. Who, in the Mario universe, is... Toad, I think.


Microsoft offers fix for Xbox One 'black screen' error

"I'm a software tester, not games but in business, and where I work the managements approach to testing is that 70% of the faults will be found with the majority of testing and seem to think any major faults will always appear in this 70%. I know from experience that some faults appear over time due to an accumulation of smaller issues that aren't considered faults.

What this is is a fault that isn't common and would require large volume of consoles and variations of software installed on the console to replicate.

To say it should have been found is unfair in that if it was an obvious problem it would have been found. But in the way people use the term how longs a piece of string its the same with testing. How many faults are in this release? Don't know, it didn't come with a total number of faults. How long do you keep testing? Spend 100 days testing, find 70% of the faults and then spend another year trying to find the other 30% of faults, still never really knowing if you've found them?

Faults happen in all walks of life, manufacturing recalls due to faults, cars with faulty brakes, faulty government for being a bunch of self serving knob heads, this isn't a perfect world. It's faulty. How a company reacts to faults is what people should be more interested in. Yeah I know that statement will probably dig a bigger Microsoft hole to fill but just wanted to try and get across that finding faults isn't as easy and signposted as some people think it is.

Moaner of the week is in the bag." - paul_brown940

Not at all, good sir. It's nice to get a reasonable argument from the other side of the fence every now and then. Huzzah and such!


Valve rejects claims it receives players' browsing history

"Maybe someone's a bit paranoid about their Google image search for Gabe Newell in a sexy little negligee?" - TheCrimsonFenix

Look, I've deleted my history AND my cookies, leave me alone.


BioShock dev Irrational Games to close

"God only knows what id be without you." - StonecoldMC

Nailed it.


Apple and Google reject apps with 'Flappy' in their title

"Back to the drawing board for me. RIP Flappy Jack." - immy46

So long Flappy Jack, we never knew ye. Literally.


Sega announces restructure of Persona dev Atlus

"'maximize the creation of synergies'

*vomits everywhere*" - beemoh

Well, I've never heard anyone calling it that before.


BioShock dev Irrational Games to close

"I always thought Irrational games wouldn't survive without Ken Levine because he is Irrational.
Now it seems Irrational games cant survive WITH Ken Levine because he is irrational." - moogiesboy

Apparently there's just no reasoning with him.


PUNS OF THE WEEK - MARIO GOLF BAG SPECIAL

This Mario golf bag is somehow the best and worst thing we've ever seen

"Anyone hear about that poor Spanish golfer who got shot the other day...

They said it was a hole in Juan." - dookiephonic

Racist.

"I'm gonna look like a pimp pulling that bad boy out of the boot of my caddie-Lac" - CloudLXXXV

Sexist.

"A Birdie told me that Golf is big in Japan.

I just hope all this merchandising isn't being Teed up, for a drop." - Barca Azul

Optimist.

"1-wood hope not." - Balladeer

Um... Marxist?

"I think there's still a fairway to go before the puns start to dry up." - FishyGinger

Sadist.

"My cousin Jack wants one!
He said he would only use it without underwear on though.
How odd!?? who would want to see Jack Knickerless?
I'll get my coat..." - Theclarklove

LOOK, I'VE GOT ALL YOUR BLOODY COATS. HURRY UP AND TAKE THEM.


MOANERS OF THE WEEK

Video: The Real Games Journalist interviews Mike Bithell

"Put's video interview out in middle of day so no one can watch it, and it will be forgotten by home time. It's much easier to read interviews than watch them. please bare this in mind. maybe add a transcript? Thanks." - adison

See, you're using the secret 'live' version of CVG by mistake. Everyone else can watch our videos whenever they like.


Titanfall: 14 maps and split-screen listed in beta files

"There are campers.

Neck snapping a bot doesnt feel the same as neck snapping a real player.

Lock on pistol too powerful.

Too many bots." - cult

That was very nearly a Haiku.


Miyamoto confirms Year of Luigi will end in March

"One of the great things and worst things about Nintendo is that they treat you like a child.

Sometimes its great to go back and play games like you were still in your bedroom on your SNES , some days its so twee it makes you want to hurl." - Faktor

Agreed. We won't play a game these days unless the lead character is a stockbroker.


The Order 1886: Sony releases new gameplay video

"Wow, I hope the above posts are joking! Looking forward to QTE's? Looking forward to letterbox camera? Really?

I really enjoyed Dragons Dogma which also had letterbox, but never did i think that it added to the experience! I always thought, hmm, wish I could see more of this lovely looking game..........

If they had come out and said, "well we have made this game and there are NO QTE's in it and the combat flows with finesse and style purely from an intuitive control system", then I would be excited!

PS4 only owners perhaps????????" - qSPARTANp

Maybe. Give us a ninth question mark and we might be convinced.


WORST PREDICTION OF THE WEEK

Candy Crush studio files for $500m IPO

"I predict that this news will be received by CVG calmly, peacefully, and with no outpourings of anger against the company at all." - Balladeer

"They really are the King of assholes." - Christopher91

"I'm am hoping king is a one hit wonder. The gaming industry needs less spineless companies like king that will trademark a f***ing word to steal someone else's game." - Kris

"I hope this turns out to be another Farmville fiasco waiting to happen.
They deserve to crash and burn!" - Padua

Well, so much for that.

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