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Comments of the Week

Your finest, funniest and oddest comments over the past seven days

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Xbox One Deals with Gold includes Thief on Xbox One

"I thought we were getting thief for free then! Gutted!" - MutilateTheDead

"That'd be a steal!" - BazJitsu

Ugh, it's going to be one of those weeks is it?


Rockstar North boss buys church in Edinburgh

"Maybe he's looking for another kind of redemption that's not Red and/or Dead" - otto_spooky

Maybe he's just doing research for GTA: Vatican City.


Android TV controller image leaks

"Looks like a PS3 and 360 controller had a steamy one night stand, ended up with twins abandonned on the stairs of the local church, with OnLive and Amazon each raising one.

Just imagine the distress of being lil' OnLive pad, knowing your twin - and not you - ended up in that posh family with a chalet in Aspen. Life's a b*tch." - Stan_Goodspeed

Um, I think you're overthinking this.


Bungie: Destiny cost is "not anything close to $500 million"

"this game always gives me boner, wondering whether it will be out for pc or not" - prfctcmptr

Always? As in every single time you see it? Mate, you need to see about that.


Cliff Bleszinski "coming out of retirement", promises announcement this week

"He's still a knob though" - mitchell91

I'd say "shots fired" but I suppose "chainsaw started" is probably more apt.


The Sims 4 trailer promises 'smarter Sims, weirder stories'

"Yet they took out the pools :'( how can I drown my sims now?" - illage2

We called EA to ask them for you and they replied "with your delicious salty tears". Then I heard an unearthly roar and they hung up.


Tomb Raider novel coming in October

"A novel? The graphics are s**t on novels. Bet it's not even running at 60 pages per second." - beemoh

At least it'll have 1080 pages.


Patent lawsuit against Ubisoft's DRM policies is dismissed

"They won? O____O this is not good news, this is like the worst news ever." - illage2

Step aside, World Trade Center and Hiroshima, you're school newsletter stuff compared to this.


Lindsay Lohan sues over alleged appearance in GTA 5

"I'm suing Lindsay Lohan. Her acts of outrageous, drunken buffoonery were clearly stolen from my early twenties." - DrainBamaged

I am too, because I was a Mean Girl. Actually, wait.


New CoD: Ghosts customization pack brings a 'blunt' to the party

"What were they smoking when they came up with this?" - DEALER3000

"Blunts. Big Fat Blunts!" - 1Nightmare1

Some of that sticky icky-icky.


PUNS OF THE WEEK - ENTER THE CAT

'Cat simulator' Catlateral Damage reaches Kickstarter funding goal

"Please everyone, just paws for thought before you start with all the random cat puns." - m00dy29

Here we go again!

"We've all had enough goat puns by meow, M00dy. This will be a great mew source of humour. Pawsitively purrfect, in fact." - Balladeer

Heh. Yup, that counts too.

"They were pretty bad, Balla. Hope you're feline ashamed of yourself." - FishyGinger

Hmm. Okay, I'll give you that one.

"Tabby frank, I'm not really!" - Balladeer

Right guys, can we move on?

"A game with much "pawtential", although with possibly "catastrophic" consequences should the game's sales numbers "lose by a whisker"" - JOHNKARA

My eyes...!

"Let's see if this game makes it past the scratching post and claws it's way to the top. The controls wont be up to much: keyboard but no mouse support" - jodders

Seriously, it's right behind the eyeball. It's like a dull throbbing now.

"100,000 for a PS4 version, oh the purrtential. It'd be a catastrophe if that target isn't made" - slatters

*scoops eyes out and mashes them against the wall*

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