to join the CVG community. Not a member yet? Join now!

Oh no, Pierce Brosnan is terrible at GoldenEye

Childhood illusions shattered as James Bond can't play his own game

For gamers of a certain age, GoldenEye 007 will forever be the greatest first-person shooter of all time.

You can keep your Call of Duty, your Halo and your Team Fortress: for some, the Nintendo 64 adventures of James Bond will always trump them.


Of course, many of these gamers are using their memories as a basis for their argument: most of them haven't played it recently and if they have they may have discovered, as I did last year, that it's aged terribly, with horrendous analogue aiming and a frame rate that feels at times like CCTV footage of a train station.

Still, there can be no denying the impact of the game on the industry as a whole, an impact that seems to have missed Pierce Brosnan, the star of the Bond movie the game was based on.

In a recent episode of The Tonight Show with die-hard gamer Jimmy Fallon, the host challenged Brosnan to a two-player deathmatch. An unconventional ruleset was chosen - Complex, first to 5, Power Weapons - but this was James Bond, he could handle it, right?

Not quite. Childhoods crumbled simultaneously throughout America as their televisions showed James Bond himself struggling to walk round corners and failing to pick up a gun, instead resorting to trying to karate chop Fallon to death.

Eventually Fallon decided to do the right thing and shoot Bond, putting the old dog out of his misery. He laughed, saying "it's just a game", but you could see the pain in his eyes. In his heart.

In all our hearts.

Close Close