25-Feb-2004 Swearing is a natural stress reliever. Don't believe us? Let's say you close your hands in a car door (it happens to CVG's ham-handed Graeme a lot). A simple "Oh, bother" just won't do. Only a 100-decibel "Faaaaaaaak!" will ease the pain. Swearing is also cool. This must be true because of the hail of insulting metaphors exchanged between baddest of bad-ass NARC cops Mike and Marcus in the official Bad Boys II movie licence tie-in.
As the title suggests, they really are rather naughty boys. In fact, the bickering buddies bring a whole new meaning to the term 'boys in blue' - if swearing was an Olympic sport, Lowry and Burnett would be red hot favourites for the gold medal. Which is why we ain't bitching about the way the game stays faithful to the movie swearing throughout.
Cussing aside, what quickly grabs you by the goolies like an angry Aussie hooker (of the rugby kind) is the way BBII pays homage to gloriously fun blastathon lightgun series Time Crisis, albeit in third-person. But BBII also adds a few new ideas of its own too.
The whole premise of this single-player game is designed around a cleverly crafted system called Cover Points (see box below right). These strategically positioned glowing discs allow Mike or Marcus to hide behind cover in relative safety, move the crosshair over any part of an enemy's anatomy (yes, even his bollocks), and lean out to give him the good news.
It's A Cover Up Cleverly, some of the cover points are there to deliberately throw you. Just when you're expecting to be pinned down, nothing happens until you move over to another cover point, which ratchets up the tension no end. Better still, there's no time limit to get through each area, and although enemies follow a strict pattern of movement, you can always find another cover point to roll over to. BBII may follow a similar game mechanic to Time Crisis and Kill.Switch, but it also adds a whole new layer of playability to the gaming onion by allowing you to shoot weapons out of the baddies' hands.
Manage to do this, and the snivelling grunt gives up, putting his hands behind his head in the hope that you won't splatter his brains over his new designer suit. Yeah, right. Bearing in mind you get a bonus rating for executions, we don't rate his chances...
Wot, No Grumbles? As you'll have gathered, perhaps what's most surprising is that BBII plays pretty well considering most film tie-ins are hideous, cash-harvesting washouts. Sure, the cut-scenes here might suck harder than a Jordan home video, but the core element of the all-out arcade gunplay is surprisingly addictive.
What we are a bit miffed at is that Will Smith and Martin Lawrence haven't been signed-up to do the voiceovers. This is the officially licensed product, right? Fair enough, the replacements aren't that bad, but we still feel a bit short changed. More worryingly, though, the camera needs a makeover that even a frill-cuffed dandy like Llewelyn-Bowen would struggle to mend, and there are some fairly awful invisible barriers designed, of course, to keep you firmly on the linear path.
Obviously, the further you progress, the tougher the challenge becomes. For instance, Russians like surprising you by diving through plate glass windows, which is cool and all, but we reckon it could get a bit samey, in spite of the increasing difficulty.
It's probably not destined for classic status but this ultra violent, surprisingly addictive shooter should appeal to the sort of gamers who, once started, won't rest till all the pug uglies are blasted full of holes.
The ace up the sleeveless t-shirt of Bad Boys II lies in its cunning cover point system. Barrel into a room without using the scenery to crouch behind and you'll end up a blood-soaked sieve sharpish. Use cover, and goons'll soon be dropping faster than turds down a curry house bog.
From cover, use the crosshair to line up the visible targets
Lean out button and turn the sucker's kneecaps into chum
Return to cover after emptying your clip
Find a cover point. Any damned cover point!
You lookin’ at me? I'll shoot you in the face!
You’ll find yourself hiding a lot in this game
// Practice Makes Puree
Shooting your gun like a girl? Taking a beating on the streets? Get some practice on the shooting range. The further you progress through the game, the more practice options you unlock.
Mike showed the deadly blue cardboard cut-out terrorists no mercy...
Headshots score the required points with one squeeze of the trigger
Getting a Platinum rating should be a doddle with an Uzi
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