27-Apr-2004 Boxing's one of the few legal sports left where you can watch enormous men batter each other into unconsciousness. The other is football - about 20 minutes after the final whistle, round the back of the away stand.
As with anything that involves lashings of physical violence, you'd have thought boxing would have a rich heritage in videogames. But no. Like a world heavyweight bout that's actually worth watching, decent boxing games only come around once every couple years or so. Step into the ring, Fight Night 2004.
Show Your Wad With EA Sports games, you know you're in for a show. From the moment that cheesy Yank voice blurts "It's in the game", you can be sure they've thrown a wad of cash at the damn thing. Fight Night 2004 struts its high production values stuff with hip-hop tunes featuring the likes of Puff Daddy and Notorious B.I.G. as well as featuring the official likenesses of famous boxers.
But if the game's a washout, EA can blow its licensed sportsmen and sell-out hip hop out of its bung-hole. No need for beats booming from EA's corporation-sized butt here, though, as from the moment you land your first quick one-two jabs to some poor sap's head, you know Fight Night 2004 is something special.
Total Carnage The knock-out blow is the Total Punch Control system. What this does is eliminate the buttons from play, instead assigning all your punching work to the right analog stick. The way you fling the stick around is mirrored by the punches you throw - flick the stick up and to the right, and you'll lash out with a sharp right jab. Slam it to the left and then twist it forward and you'll unleash a punishing left hook.
We haven't played a fighting game of any discipline that uses the analog stick like this. It has two implications. First, this ain't Ready 2 Rumble or any other arcade-style number you can pick up and straight away be lovin' it. It takes time to get to grips with, and the brutal battle on-screen will initially be matched by the fight you're having with your joypad.
Second, boxing games will never be the same again. Using the stick to throw punches is so much more clever and flexible than any system before, and the feeling of instinctive control it gives you is something special. Don't be surprised to see it ripped off quicker than Jordan's hot-pants in, well anyone's bedroom.
Bloody Sports Once a few blows have been exchanged, boy does it show, with cuts, bruises and welts all appearing on your fighter's face, making it look like someone's staged River Dance on your noggin. These all look totally realistic, as does the rest of the game, and we can't go a whole review without mentioning just how spot-on Fight Night's visuals are.
From the ducking and diving, to the way your head jerks back when caught by an upper-cut, to the way the fighters' legs give out before they eat canvas - the game has had 'quality' stamped into its face with a training dumbbell.
That's No Career The best way to enjoy FN2004 is with a bunch of mates, happily beating seven shades of shite out of each other. On your own, you've really just got the Career mode. This lets you choose one of the boxers in the game, or build your own, and then set off to claim some of those World Title belts.
After each fight you can train your boxer a little, and money earnt can be spent on new shorts, gloves, and even fireworks for your entrance routine. But to be brutal, if FN2004 has a weak point, it's here - there isn't quite enough in the career mode to make it a one-player must-have.
That said, anyone who's actually into the sport of boxing should drop everything and rush out and buy FN2004 NOW, even if you're reading this on the bog and your trousers are round your ankles, kids only half way to the pool. And the same applies to anyone looking for a beat 'em up with a difference, because as well as being a top-dollar recreation of boxing, it's a damn fine videogame in its own right too.
FN2004's brilliant analog stick punching system gives boxing its own genre - this is much more than just a beat 'em up with big red gloves and silly shorts on.
The way you box should change depending on which fighter you're using. Each one is rated for eight stats, excluding height, reach and weight. So if you've got a lanky beanpole with great speed, you should use your jab to keep your opponent at arm's length. If you're built like a brick poophouse, squat but with serious power in your punch, you're better off getting in close and making those body blows take their toll.
If you’ve got lots of power and your opponent has a weak body, stay low and give him plenty in the gut
You can increase your stats with stints in the gym. You’ll need to if you want to climb the rankings ladder
If you’ve got a really tall fighter then make sure all your jabs count, and don’t let him get in too close
// My Mate Gym
In Career mode, you can visit the gym between each fight to brush up on your bruiser chops. These training modes not only increase your fighter's stats, but are also massively helpful when it comes to sussing out the controls. But there are only four different routines, and they soon get repetitive, meaning you soon get bored of them.
This routine is hard – the bloke holds out his hand and calls a shot, which you’ve got to throw instantly
The combo dummy is like a game of Simon Says, as you have to repeat patterns of blows on Mr Legless
Sparring teaches you to dodge and block. It ups your stamina and agility, which makes you bob better
The heavy bag is tricky at first. It’s about timing not speed, as you’ve got to make that big old bag swing
// Enter The Arena
Much like boxing, wrestling, the Superbowl and every other sport the Americans have got their mitts on, Fight Night tries to beef out the entertainment that's on offer with dose of showbiz. So a major feature of the career mode is earning enough bucks to put together an entrance routine that's so blinging bad-ass that you could win an Oscar for best director...
Buy ever more hip-hop to blast out as you strut your gold-plated butt right into the ring
First thing you’ll want to spend your money on are even skimpier outfits for your booty shakers
Earn enough dough and finally you can afford lasers and fireworks to totally impress the laydeez
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