Hellforces Review

2.9

Format PC

Developer Orion

Publisher Buka Entertainment

Genre First Person Shooter

2 Comments

This has been in the shops for a while now, but Hellforces unfortunately slipped beneath our radar after its representatives would only make theatrical coughing noises when we questioned them on its whereabouts. Why? It's an aberration unto gaming, that's why.

The guns handle so badly that you might as well be left-clicking a particularly savage number in an Excel spreadsheet, the game's AI consists solely of soldiers jogging on the spot next to walls, while the level design focuses around getting lost for what seems like hours until you find a misplaced key next to a brick in an alley.

Redeeming features? Well, it has zombies whose faces fall off when they're shot, although they must also have built-in inertial dampeners since five chest shots have no apparent effect until the final bullet nudges them off the edge of their mortal coil and they cartwheel off in ragdoll convulsions. Or at least collapse in a horseshoe with their face gently nuzzling their undead crotch. No, the graphics aren't that bad - but repeatedly dying because of stupid rats nibbling your feet or fouling up the same crap platform-to-platform jumps again and again really is.

I've reviewed some games that have made my balls ache in my time, but this one takes the biscuit of dull pain. Fundamentally abominable!

PC Zone Staff