When you fire this up, here's what you think in the first heart-fluttering moments: "Oh my god, I'm a robot and I'm in disguise and Optimus Prime is giving me orders and telling me what to do... OMG OMG..."
Is this it? The very epitome of gaming cool? It can't get much better than this, surely? It's exactly like what was happening in my head 20 years ago except, this time, it doesn't take place on my bedroom floor and Lion-O doesn't improbably turn up halfway through and inexplicably start scrapping with Bumblebee.
If you're a little child, then back off, pal. This game isn't for you. Your primitive mind wouldn't understand the complex inner workings going on here. You'll probably take one look at the bland buildings and laughable vehicle models and switch off the PC in disgust.
You wouldn't understand - you weren't there at the beginning. You won't forgive Transformers its repetitive mission structure or incredulous handling. That's realistic, yeah? That's what it would actually be like, to be a robot (in disguise), so just back off.
You can even play as the Decepticons if you were the sort of evil, twisted kid that stole my Matt Tracker toy in primary school and threw it under a lawnmower.
METAL MICKEY Either way, you generally race across various teeny-tiny sandbox environments going from A to B before bashing the screws out of another robot and then doing some more racing. Then it ends, and you wish maybe they'd done something a bit more special with it so you didn't feel so sad inside your tummy.
Oh, I'd like to take a step back, I really, really would. I'd like to be able to look at this game objectively. If it wasn't tied to the Transformers franchise, it'd be a run-of-the-mill hodge-podge console action game, there's no two ways about it.
However, the simple fact of the matter is that having the Autobot logo for an icon immediately elevates Transformers: The Game up a few percentage points to the realms of 'maybe worth a look on a wet Sunday afternoon'.
PC Zone Staff
// Overview
Verdict
Not that much more than meets the eye
Uppers
It has robots. In disguise! Voice of Optimus Prime telling you what to do Transforming into a robot never stops being ace
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It has robots. In disguise!
