The 10 weirdest game boxes ever

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It's marketing gone mad! When an obscure game finds its way onto our desks, we take a careful look at the box, and realise we have no idea what the game inside could be.
It's not just Japanese games, either - here are the ten most random game boxes we could find. Let's see what Team NGamer's finely-honed videogames instincts have to say about them...

Ant Bullies

Matthew: "It's probably based on a sitcom - the guy in red is the other three's neighbour and the aim is to wind him up."

Kittsy: "Obviously a kung-fu game. Orange is the strong, slow fighter; blue has special moves; nobody ever picks the green all-rounder."

What it really is: Haneru no Tobira Wii: Kirigirissu is, in essence, Japanese men dressed as big-eyed frogs in mentalist olympic games, with pogo-stick races and jump the wooden horse competitions.

Dog Island

Matthew: "Hot Tub Fighting. Young girls beat each other over a nice spa weekend"

Kittsy: "Ahh, Super Bath Pervert! This one's all about sneaking into women-only spa baths and taking underwater photos without getting caught."

What is really is: Negima!? Chou Mahora Taisen ChuuIti is a straightforward magic fighting game, with innuendo-laden cutscenes. Sample of actual text (in translation): "Ah shut up, I don't care if it's a monkey or a dog."

Meet Mrs Robinson

Matthew: "A singing game. Glide through ethereal forests hitting button cues to belt out the words of a chart-storming mega-hit."

Kittsy: "It probably just shows pictures of cherry blossoms and makes soothing noises. Sold around two million copies in Japan."

What it really is: Mainichi Kokorobics DS Therapy is a relationship analyser, helping you and your partner. The website calls it "sexy psychology".

Jenga: Interspecies

Matthew: "Action adventure in which you march the lands with your trusty anthropomorphic dog rucksack 'Tierschule'. You know, like the Minish Cap."

Kittsy: "A cheap Banjo-Kazooie knock-off, starring a girl with a socially unacceptable dog. It's called Get It Off Me!"

What it really is: This is the boxart for My Animal School, which, er, only came out in Germany. It's a gener-o-animal petting game. Light petting.

Wolf party 8

Matthew: "Some form of nutritional management sim? This clearly displays a food chain in action - the aim must be to keep everyone from going hungry."

Kittsy: "Gently rub the screen to eat tasty vegetables, then tap like mad to escape the hungry wolf. A bit like Rayman Raving Rabbids."

What it really is: Arashi No Yoruni is a collection of puzzly-type minigames, played out between a wolf and a lamb. Very cute, with music that sounds like a 1920s' Buster Keaton silent movie accompaniment.

Sims 2: Business

Matthew: "A white collar take on Streets Of Rage. This businessman's offering someone a knuckle sandwich."

Kittsy: "Self-improvement for men, teaching the importance of a sharp suit, a glossy haircut and the psychotic stare that ladies love."

What it really is: Itsudemo Doko Demo Onita Atsushi No Seiji Quiz DS tests your knowledge of contemporary politics.

No More Cats

Matthew: "Isn't that the cat from the Wii's photo channel? He's probably teaching maths or something."

Kittsy: "A storybook cat-owners can read with their pets. Cats can turn the pages by patting the screen with their paws."

What it really is: DS Bungaku Zensyu is a collection of Japanese novels to read on your DS.

Heatseeker

Matthew: "Julie found a way: pole dancing. Must be a rhythm game."

Kittsy: "A detective story in which Julie gets drowned in a creek for being too perky, and you must find her killer from among 500 suspects."

What it really is: Julie Finds A Way is a fairly tedious RPG based on a series of books about a teenage girl growing up in 1970s' San Francisco, who plays men's basketball and saves endangered species from extinction. No pole dancing.

Freakz

Matthew: "This is survival horror. If that green thing doesn't get you, his red chum will inhale your soul through his gaping face hole."

Kittsy: "Kind of like Trauma Center for facial disfigurements. Use the stylus to help the green man look less like a children's TV character."

What it really is: Gachapin Nikki DS is a jigsaw puzzle game based on a children's TV character in Japan. Gachapin is a five-year-old dinosaur boy who never ages. That is all.

Toilet wars: Force Unleashed

Matthew: "Some sort of 'owning up' simulator? This kid has crashed his mum's car and has to break it to her without incurring pocket money-denying wrath."

Kittsy: "Dark horror in which a boy vanishes for 20 years, grows into a serial killer and confesses his crimes from Death Row."

What it really is: I Did It Mum! is a collection of minigames (stuff like colouring-in and train driving) aimed at preschool kids.

NGamer Staff