Explorers, eh? What a bunch of tossers. I hate them. They're always upper-class English types with names like Sir Peregrine Arse or Lord Namby of Pambyshire, who think they're cool and hard just because they've hauled their flabby backsides out of their favourite leather armchair at Horseypiss Manor and gone to wade through the Amazon River for a couple of months. They're always turning up on chat shows and going on and on about the hardships they had to overcome, the diseases they got, and all the natives they encountered (and no doubt patronised), and then the host starts congratulating them on being so brave, and the audience gives them a brown-nosing round of applause, and I'm left sitting at home wondering why on earth we should praise these toffee-nosed public school dickheads for doing something so pointless and foolhardy - not to mention expensive - when they could be doing something constructive, like killing themselves.
You see, I don't think it's necessary to fly halfway across the world for an expensive and exciting expedition into unknown territory - no. You can do it here in Britain. In fact, I already have, several times. I've been on many gruelling expeditions in recent years, including 'Ladbroke Grove to Hackney Wick During A Tube Strike', 'Coventry to Euston Station In The Company Of Psychotic Birmingham City Fans On Their Way To Millwall' and my infamous 'Andrex' quest, 'Downstairs Toilet to Upstairs Toilet with Trousers Around Ankles'. I have made use of all the fundamental adventurer's skills, such as map reading (following indecipherable markings on photocopied party invitations), eating unusual foodstuffs for survival (living off chocolate 'Nourishment' drinks for two weeks during my student years - they contain just enough nutrients to keep you alive, and expand in your stomach so you don't feel hungry - although they turn your piss green), and learning foreign languages and cultures (trying to fathom what on earth women are on about half the time). So, you see, it's possible to be a bona fide explorer-type without ever leaving these shores. And now, thanks to Core Design, it's possible to be an explorer without even leaving your seat. Thanks to Tomb Raider.
Quality Street
Tomb Raider is superb. To all intents and purposes it's a platform game, very much in the Prince Of Persia mould, but one that makes the most of an utterly jaw-dropping 3D engine, impeccable level design, and reams of high-quality animation, producing a gaming experience so engrossing and rewarding that it can justifiably be labelled an instant classic. The plot revolves around some hoo-hah with an ancient artefact that's been split into pieces, leaving you to take control of a Ms Lara Croft - explorer, adventurer, and all-round 'fit bird' - as she tries to find all the bits and put them back together. To do so, you'll have to traverse a series of immense, labyrinthine levels, jam-packed with puzzles, perils, and more than a few surprises.
Although the screenshots may imply that it's an Alone In The Dark clone, the reality is markedly different. For starters, the camera moves along behind you from a floating perspective, switching position only when totally necessary. It's a 'proper' 3D game. The most accurate comparison is with Mario 64 on the new Nintendo system.
One of the first things that strikes you is the quality and speed of the animation. Despite having to hurl huge pieces of scenery and light-sourcing about in the background, Core's engine somehow finds room for over 3000 frames of animation in the main character. Lara walks, runs, leaps, somersaults, climbs, slides and dives in a manner so eerily realistic that you can't help becoming rather over-fond of her (indeed, I've already written her a love poem - reprinted elsewhere in this article). You know how sometimes you'll play a game that's so visually impressive and convincing that you find yourself performing the same action a couple of times just because it looks so cool each time you do it? You'll be doing that all the time in Tomb Raider. Those of you with upper-class Pentiums will be able to enjoy a stunning high-resolution mode, but even on the lowest of detail settings, it's still bloody incredible. Indeed, the majority of the screenshots on these pages were 'taken' in low-res mode, so you can see for yourself that I ain't no bloody liar, right? Right. So, it looks good. But how does the gameplay measure up?
Put On Your 3D Glasses Now
Now, imagine you had to design a 3D platform game. Yes, you there. Put your thinking cap on for a moment and try to picture it in your mind's eye. Okay? Finished? Good. Now let's examine what you thought about.
No doubt you pictured something along the lines of Sonic The Hedgehog, or - if you're cool, Chuckie Egg - that is, something with lots of 'floating platforms' in it, but from a sort of 3D perspective. That's what the aforementioned Mario 64 is like. It's slick, it's frighteningly playable, but its landscape is very 'gamelike', very disjointed and surreal. Not so Tomb Raider. Tomb Raider's environment is utterly believable. You clamber over huge chunks of rubble. Climb huge cliff-faces. Leap ravines. Dangle from rope-bridges. Swim through underground tunnels. And it's all completely believable. Architecturally, it's often stunning.
Better yet is the design of the levels themselves. They really are designed as puzzles, with each requiring a combination of hard thought and gaming accuracy. Rather than lead the player by the nose through each challenge, the game also requires an instinct for exploration. Many's the time you'll find yourself seemingly at a dead-end, only to discover that there's a whole new section of the level tucked away behind an (almost) hidden entrance. There are keys to collect, switches to pull and secret bonus areas to be uncovered. Countless perilous surprises - in the form of vicious ancient booby traps - lurk around every other corner - from huge swinging axes, to the faithful 'pit of spikes'. It keeps you on your toes throughout, in other words.
And I haven't even mentioned how large the levels are yet. Here we have a textbook example of 'getting your money's worth'. Tomb Raider is huge. They could've released it with half the number of levels and it would still be a great game. A single level will often require hours of play. Everything's finely tuned so that, just as you're getting frustrated, you manage to solve the problem that was vexing you and move on, with mounting enthusiasm. But it doesn't end there. Because there's guns in it too.
Old MacDonald had a gun
Now we British are 'a nation of animal lovers'. Not so Lara Croft. If you've got four legs, and you spot her coming toward you, run away. Quickly. In Tomb Raider most of your foes hail from the animal kingdom. Wolves, lions, crocodiles, gorillas - even dinosaurs. Now, you could deal with these opponents the Doctor Dolittle way and try to sing them into submission, but that would lead to some pretty dreadful operatics and more than a little claw-through-face action. Your best bet is to shoot them with guns. Lara appears to be something of a handgun fetishist, and is equally at home with a pair of Uzis as she is with a shotgun or magnum. She has no qualms at all about gunning down endangered species left, right and centre. I shudder to think what would happen if she were let loose in Whipsnade Zoo.
What's more, the animals are wonderfully animated themselves, and are so pretty that you don't really want to shoot them. Several people have watched me playing this over my shoulder, and the first thing out of their mouths (after they'd commented on the general 'wow!' factor of the visuals), was a disapproving 'Awww, what did you do that for?' when they saw me shooting a beastie. Rest assured that later on in the game, it's humans and weird monsters that start getting it in the neck - and no-one ever goes 'awww' over them, eh?
Actually, combat is the one section of Tomb Raider that could do with just a little improvement. Lara automatically aims on your behalf, but things can get a little confusing whenever there's more than one enemy. Most of the time you'll find yourself jumping around in a very peculiar fashion in the middle of a firefight, as you frantically try to avoid the fangs of your attackers. Perhaps some kind of first-person view, or maybe a crosshair for the shoot-outs, would have done the trick, but maybe this would just confuse things. Either way, it's a minor niggle given the quality of the package as a whole and doesn't really impinge on the gameplay once you learn to compensate.
Summery summary
As I keep saying, Tomb Raider is superb. It really has got 'something for everyone'. Arcade fans will love the exceptional platform-style gameplay (and the trigger-happy combat). Puzzle freaks will love the mazes and problems. Adventure addicts will love the exploration and slowly-unravelled storyline. All three will love the ever-present element of surprise. Cybertwats will love the standard-setting visuals. Female players will love Lara. Male players will love Lara more, for foul and dirty reasons. And last but not least, the accountants at Eidos will love it because it'll no doubt set tills nationwide ringing like a red alert in a bell factory.
It deserves no less. It's an instant classic. Try it. You'll like it. I loved it.
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