Archaeologist 1: I say, I think there's something moving down there...
Archaeologist 2: What's that, old chap? Something moving? On the NGamer Blog? Don't be preposterous. Place has been abandoned for centuries.
Archaeologist 1: Whatever it is, it looks shiny, roughly 114 pages in length?
Archaeologist 2: Surely not the fabled Issue 43 of NGamer? Legends tell of its controversial review scores and brilliant foam-based free gift.

QUICK!! There's just one week to go until long list voting for the 2009 Golden Joystick awards ends. "What's long list voting?," we hear you cry. Okay. The long list is a mammoth list (duh) of games that you can vote for in every category of this year's awards. The games that collect the largest amount of votes then get put into a short list, whereupon the second phase of voting begins. But that's jumping the gun, as we'll not be announcing the short list until 1 June. Several of the categories are going right down to the wire, so make sure that the games you want to see don't miss out on a shot at carrying off a big prize on awards night in October.

What's this? A blog post from NGamer? But the next issue isn't out for weeks. Uh-oh, must an incoming communication from the corporate overlords, right? Not so fast you cynical bunch, we're here with tidings of joy. Or rather, tidings of Golden Joystick voting, which is pretty joyous in itself.

Like Pokémon? Like NGamer? Then you'll love issue 36 of NGamer, with its 20 collectable Pokémon covers. And not just any old Pokémon covers, but the top 20 'mon as voted for by the readers of NGamer. There are some 'interesting' choices in there - let's hear it for Spoink! - which one will you get? Why the mega Poké-splurge? We're celebrating the release of Pokémon Platinum, and giving it the NGamer once-over in our exclusive UK review.

Apologies for the lightning-fast pace of the following blog post, but with GDC (the Game Developers Conference, a hive of gaming gossip) in full-flow we simply can't spare the time to tell you how utterly incredible the new issue of NGamer is.

Hello readers! Big Pokémon related things are in the works here at NGamer Towers - you'll have to wait and see what they are - but part of our grand machinations requires you to supply us with your favourite Pokémon. Have you got a soft spot for Exploud? Does Shedinja send your pulse racing? Are you doolally for Magby? Is there nothing better in this world than some quality time with Sudowodo? Let us know...

*Blows dust off blog* *Coughs and splutters* It's been a while, readers. What it is that has us crawling from our offline shell? That would be the new issue of NGamer, fresh out the oven and sitting on shop shelves NOW. This month we lead with an exclusive review of Mario Power Tennis. After the rather lovely New Play Control! Pikmin, can Nintendo weave some remote magic into Mazza's Wimbledon wannabe?

Now either things have gone a bit Fallout 3 in Bath or NGamer Towers has received its first DSi, complete with face altering photo tech. It's the latter, by the way. Wish we'd known before Kittsy blew off Kim's face in glorious slow-mo.

It's taken some time but the balance board is (ironically) finally pulling its weight, with not one, but two body-wobbling offerings. They are Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party and Shaun White Snowboarding, both of which are given world exclusive reviews in this month's NGamer (on shop shelves now). We've traversed mountains with mere belly shifts and urinated all over a garden from a variety of yoga poses - discover how inside.

We're on the final straight. Voting for the 2008 Golden Joysticks closes next Monday and according to our Vote-O-Matic5000 things are looking pretty tight. As in: a rubbish PlayStation 3 or Xbox 360 game might win. Surely you can't let such a travesty come to pass? We certainly can't. Which is why we're sounding the battle cry for a final Ninty push.